A Fallen Comrade

The very existence of the Salt & Pepper Cartel has been threatened by the untimely illness of one of our founding fathers. Dr. DandyCube has been struck down in the prime of his life (give or take a few years) and finds himself now unable to partake in the pleasures of fried food and alcohol (he is also not allowed raw vegetables but who really cares about that stuff). How unfair is this - is there no justice in the world. While Dr. DandyCube is still able to carry on with his shameless flirting with waitresses it would seem that the added temptation of food and alcohol would be too much for him to handle and he has withdrawn himself from the weekly membership meetings at Wild Wings. Our founder needs your help.I call out to all of you concerned with the perils of getting older - go now and start fund-raising to stop this dreaded disease known as old age. It’s impact on our society must be arrested. I encourage you to buy plastic flesh coloured bracelets in support of the cause. Write, e-mail or call your local MP to advance the cause of more funding into the prevention of old age. Organize a run (or slow walk) to raise the much needed money. Construct cute little ribbons made from the intestines of pigs - whatever it takes to raise money in aid of putting an end to this debilitating disease.

As for our founding father, may he find peace and satisfaction eating porridge and broth. But for those of us still alive - let us all be truly thankful that no matter how old we are - we are still able to abuse our digestive tract with food and alcohol to our hearts content and let us do so before we also find ourselves at the point where we are unable to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.