Sunday, January 20, 2008

A Sad Day

I just heard through the internet that Suzanne Pleshette died today. I fell in love with this woman through her character, Emily, whom she used to play on the original Bob Newhart show - the one where Bob Newhart was a psychologist in Chicago. The Bob Newhart show was one of my favourites ' back in the day '.



Suzanne had an amazingly throaty, sexy voice. Probably the most sexy voice I've ever heard. Though she appeared on quite a few TV shows, the only movie I recall that she started in was Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". She was very young in that movie and her throaty, sexy voice was not yet at its prime.

I shall miss her.


Saturday, January 19, 2008

The Technology of War, Sex and Toys

This blog could have been titled, "It isn't easy teaching grade 10 history".

If we look at WWI and WWII we can see that during both these wars technology took a tremendous leap forward. As an example, at the beginning of the WWI, pilots of aircraft were using pistols to shoot at people on the ground. In a few short years, by the end of the war, pilots had machine guns mounted on planes that could reliably shoot through the plane's propeller. The same war saw the development of the tank, use of radar, mustard gas, wireless communication, more sophisticated internal combustion engines - a wide variety of newly developed technology which we still find in use today.

The second world war saw the same kind of technological leap, the atomic bomb being the most notable example. From this technology came nuclear power and the development of a wide variety of non-lethal outcomes including the treatment of cancers by radiation therapy. In broad technological terms, war has been good for our society.

But what about the times in between wars. What drives technology? Following WWII technology was driven by man's desire for sex. He came home after a long day at the office and wanted a little quality time with the wife but was stymied by the Too Tired Tonight or TTT syndrome. After all, the poor little woman had to beat the carpets, broom the floors, wash dishes by hand, chop and blend food using antiquated forks and knives, as well as drag laundry across a washboard and hang it on a line to dry. Who wouldn't be tired?

Ahhh - so how did man respond? He invented the vacuum cleaner, the washing machine and dryer, the dish washing machine, as well as the food processor and blender - countless improvements designed to make the little woman's life easier. Man's motives were clear - he was trying to rid the little woman (or more accurately - himself) of the dreaded TTT syndrome. (I discussed this particular issue in length in a blog entitled Pink vs Blue two years ago - 2 YEARS AGO - WOW have I really been doing this for 2 years?!!). If you examine all of the technological developments developed after WWII to the early 70's, more than 80% of them were designed to rid the world (namely man) of the TTT syndrome.

As discussed in my earlier blog - the ultimate outcome was that we kept developing and improving our products to the point where women no longer needed us and were capable of using the technology without our input. We made the technology too easy to use, too numerous in it's scope. Worst of all, we didn't rid the world of the TTT syndrome since women were now too tired of doing the work that was once in our exclusive domain. In fact, for a brief dark time in the history of man, we often found ourselves doing female or 'pink jobs.

But men are smart. We ultimately get what we want. What drives technology now? Our need for better toys of course. Having spent our best years developing better technology for women (and getting nowhere with respect to the TTT syndrome) we have turned our attention inward. We are now developing better toys for our own use - to help us make better make use of the time on our hands (there is a double entendre here somewhere) afforded us by the TTT syndrome. Big Screen TV's, 7.1 sound systems, bigger & faster computers for playing Warcraft, portable GPS systems to use with our canoe following a divorce, ATV's, bigger and better boats - TOYS for MEN!

Where will it all end, you ask? I've been thinking about that and as history tells us - it must end full circle. The Japanese (who else) have just announced the development of a robotic woman. The ultimate in a man's toy! I know what you are thinking - a robotic woman is just an elaborate 'blow-up' doll. A mere toy not to be confused with a real woman.


For enlightenment may I suggest that you read David Levy's new book, Sex and Love with Robots. In his book, Mr. Levy claims that, in the not too distance future, it is highly likely that most of our intimate relationships will be with robots. As Stephen Cobert noted during his interview with Mr. Levy - Once you go Bot, you never go back.









So we come full circle - our technological prowess will result in the winning combination of War, Sex & Toys. Imagine you and a friend getting together on a Saturday night to watch your respective robotic females stage a cat fight for your benefit. Of course they would be appropriately dressed in sexy lingerie. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!


Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Perfect Wife

A friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous, gave me the gift of a perfect wife for Christmas. As you can see from the picture below, this wife is advertised with the following features - (note the typical wife stance and facial expression);

• She never bothers you during the game
• She keeps her opinions to herself
• She doesn't have any baggage
• She doesn't talk at all
• She never has a headache

So far she does sound perfect. Unfortunately she is not perfect. The deal breaker is the feature advertised in small print near the top corner of the package. She will grow to 600% of her original size - sorry - been there, done that!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Freedom !

Bob is finally back in his apartment enjoying the good life. Today I awoke at noon and spent most of the day watching football. I also did a little bit of cleaning - ok I pushed the button to start my robotic vacuum and watched it do the cleaning.

Did I mention I love my life!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Three Sleeps to go


















OK - The vacation that never ends is hopefully coming to a close as this family finally returns home from Florida. What originally was to be an 8 day stint at dog sitting has turned out to what will be a 15 day sentence from hell. The latest word is that I am out of here this Friday - finally free from the dog pound.

The experience has taught me one thing - I love my freedom and lack of responsibility. Please God let me outta here.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year

The New Year should be off to a great start as I was finally able to load Warcraft onto the computer here at the dog mansion. Oh - I guess I haven't mentioned that I am house/dog sitting for one of the families at the school while they are in Florida. Yes, while they are in the sunny south I am here in the midst of another snowstorm.

The increase in responsibility of caring for something other than a plastic houseplant is killing me. The stupid dogs actually expect me to get up at 8 in the morning to let them out - what's up with that. In truth they don't expect me to get up - they get me up by dropping large bones on the wooden floors. Every morning I am now woken by the sound of what seems to be gunfire at 8 am. Never one for maturity, I get my revenge late at night (the dogs seem to want to go to bed at 9pm) by making them go out for a pee every hour on the hour past 10pm.

In truth, taking care of the dogs (I recognize it isn't really a huge responsibility as far as responsibilities go)has reaffirmed my chosen life style. I am now more appreciative of the freedom I have (or rather, will have again in a few days). The ability to leave ones house or apartment with the freedom to do anything you want without the constraints of 'returning home on time' is something I had taken for granted over the past few years. Well - no more. It has been fun but I will be glad when it is over.

The dogs, who are rather cute in their own way, are pictured below. I have renamed them for the week. They are Wisconsin, Princess, and Bluto.