A few months back a friend and I were discussing various options for our retirement - should that day ever come. Yes I know it is hard to believe that we would even consider such a thing at our age but it is never to early to plan ahead. You have to understand that neither of us want to live forever - we just want to live out the last ten years as best we can.
The dilemma that we soon came upon was how, given our limited funds, we were going to be able to attract the attention of a nice, wholesome, well tanned, well endowed, 20 something year old cute blonde to mate with us during our retirement years. I mean we had our chance when we were 20 ourselves but we both mucked that up badly. Then, being the geniuses we are (were?), we came upon an idea that any young attractive female should have found irresistible.
We would approach the female of our choice with the following proposition - we would take out a 2 million dollar life insurance policy naming them as the beneficiary. It would be a ten year term policy and if she (the young female) was worth her weight, we wouldn’t see the end of the ten years, which would suit us just fine. We would even promise to accidentally ‘fall down the stairs’ if the ten year limit was approaching and nature hadn’t done her job. It was a perfect proposition - we would get what we wanted for the last ten years of our life and they would be millionaires in their early 30’s. So, being the geniuses we are, we decided to test out our theory. Over the next several weeks we consulted with several 20 something year old attractive women and much to our surprise we discovered that none were even remotely interested in our proposition. This was a shock - how had we been so wrong?
Several meetings and many beers later we uncovered the flaw in our plan. Most 20 something year old women (girls) actually believe that they are going to get married to some nice rich guy and live happily ever after in a big house with a white picket fence. At that age, females (and may I add males) don’t have an F’n clue what shit life has yet to pile upon them. They are too naive.
We thought long and hard about this new obstacle and after many more beers finally came up with the solution. The only 20 something year old attractive females with any sense of reality would be - of course - strippers and hookers. It was simple - ask a girl who knows what life is really about and they would only be too happy to jump at the chance to be a millionaire in 10 years. Also, given their current employment status they shouldn't have any qualms about the proposition - geniuses I tell Ya!
What can I say - I’m off to my insurance agent tomorrow. Tiffany wants this in writing by Friday.
3 comments:
let me know when she says yes, I'll throw you a bachelor party....but talk about soft-focus, what IS wrong with her face? :P
Don't dis my Tiffany - them are fighten words, Lady. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Interesting theory. Let me know how that works out for ya :)
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