It took me almost 40 years to discover the perfect fit. In that time I had tried, and put up with the discomfort of, a variety of styles and brands of underwear. Styles such as briefs and boxers and brands such as Fruit Of The Loom, Stanfield's, Calvin Klein and Jockey to name but a few. While these companies make a fine product, no matter what style or brand I tried I was not happy, or rather should I say, the boys were not happy. The underwear were too tight - too loose - too restricting - or too itchy. As I said, it was 40 years before I finally discovered bliss in cotton.
Hanes Men's Cotton Boxer Briefs were the answers to my prayers. Hanes provided the perfect fit. My personal colour preference being the black or gray, though I do have a fine selection of red in the drawer for those special evenings. Since the discovery of Hanes, the boys have been happy and ... shall we say - well adjusted! That is, until recently.
This past weekend I picked up a two pack of black and red underwear. I didn't even look at the package other than to confirm they were Hanes and that the picture showed that they were Boxer Briefs. The boys were excited as I rushed home with my new purchase! They and I were looking forward to the feel of brand new Hanes sliding up my thighs to nestle the boys in cotton comfort. (I'm a simple man with simple pleasures). Anyway - I get home, rip open the package and with much anticipation pull on a pair of the new underwear. The fit was perfect. The comfort factor was incredible. All was right with the world except ... except something was wrong.
It took me a few minutes to discover what was missing. There was no pouch door. No side entry. Had I mistakenly purchased female underwear? No, the package clearly showed a man on the cover. Had I put them on backward? A quick twist of the hips and a peek between the knees confirmed that they were on right way around. Had I purchased a defective pair? It was at this point that I looked more closely at the package and saw the words - Retro Short.
What the heck? A new style of Hanes? One that is missing the much desired and appreciated pouch for that quick adjustment during the day. Why remove the pouch? The pouch was the defining feature in men's underwear. Hanes makes women's underwear in much the style of the men's but the significant difference has been the pouch.
I began to ponder why the company would remove the pouch. Is this some sick metaphor in cotton? Is Retro Fit designed for the new age Metro-Sexual male? Is the president of the company female? Has corporate America decided that males should not be allowed to adjust themselves in public. Why the change? The only answer I have is that this new style signals the final step in the emasculation of the male! What next - permanently affixed toilet seat covers?
It took me almost 40 years to discover the perfect fit. In that time I had tried, and put up with the discomfort of, a variety of styles and brands of underwear. Styles such as briefs and boxers and brands such as Fruit Of The Loom, Stanfield's, Calvin Klein and Jockey to name but a few. While these companies make a fine product, no matter what style or brand I tried I was not happy, or rather should I say, the boys were not happy. The underwear were too tight - too loose - too restricting - or too itchy. As I said, it was 40 years before I finally discovered bliss in cotton. 
Hanes Men's Cotton Boxer Briefs were the answers to my prayers. Hanes provided the perfect fit. My personal colour preference being the black or gray, though I do have a fine selection of red in the drawer for those special evenings. Since the discovery of Hanes, the boys have been happy and ... shall we say - well adjusted! That is, until recently.
This past weekend I picked up a two pack of black and red underwear. I didn't even look at the package other than to confirm they were Hanes and that the picture showed that they were Boxer Briefs. The boys were excited as I rushed home with my new purchase! They and I were looking forward to the feel of brand new Hanes sliding up my thighs to nestle the boys in cotton comfort. (I'm a simple man with simple pleasures). Anyway - I get home, rip open the package and with much anticipation pull on a pair of the new underwear. The fit was perfect. The comfort factor was incredible. All was right with the world except ... except something was wrong. 
It took me a few minutes to discover what was missing. There was no pouch door. No side entry. Had I mistakenly purchased female underwear? No, the package clearly showed a man on the cover. Had I put them on backward? A quick twist of the hips and a peek between the knees confirmed that they were on right way around. Had I purchased a defective pair? It was at this point that I looked more closely at the package and saw the words - Retro Short. 
What the heck? A new style of Hanes? One that is missing the much desired and appreciated pouch for that quick adjustment during the day. Why remove the pouch? The pouch was the defining feature in men's underwear. Hanes makes women's underwear in much the style of the men's but the significant difference has been the pouch. 
I began to ponder why the company would remove the pouch. Is this some sick metaphor in cotton? Is Retro Fit designed for the new age Metro-Sexual male? Is the president of the company female? Has corporate America decided that males should not be allowed to adjust themselves in public. Why the change? The only answer I have is that this new style signals the final step in the emasculation of the male! What next - permanently affixed toilet seat covers?
4 comments:
hmmm wonder if with all the wonders of the internet I can email you a pouch?
you are too funny!
Great article. I know what you are talking about, when you say the right fit. There isnt a more simple pleasure in the world than a nice pair of comfortable underwear. Taking the pouch out is just plain wrong.
Nice Blog. This is very informative. With the development of mens underwear industry many new varieties of mens underwear are being introduced which is both supportive and comfortable and also erotic at the same time. I have tried many new varieties of mens underwearsuch as Bikini, Thong and many others.
Amazing Post. Selection of Mens Underwear is not an easy task as many new and updated varieties are available which is all comfortable, supportive and erotic at the same time. My personal suggestion is for Erogenos.com as it deals with the best mens underwear styles of top brands and at an affordable price.
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