Blog for Sale or Rent

Well fellow bloggers, it would seem that Dr. DandyCube once again has a burr up his ass and has requested time to vent on HouseboatBob's Blog. As Dr. DC is one of my most trusted friends, I am honoured to comply.

Male Dress and Deportment

I was quietly lounging in the tub this morning when the radio reported that our Prime Minister Harper had made a fashion faux pas while in Mexico. Supposedly he wore a green vest/pullover/whatever which reputedly made him look like "a green pear". Well.....I, and I am sure all married men, quivered with a sympathetic wince.

Memories flooded in on me....a university gathering where I was wearing a green and yellow striped shirt. I knew exactly what I looked like. I knew exactly what I would look like the moment that I saw the shirt. BUT...this shirt was lovingly (hmmmm....not so sure anymore) purchased by my wife and presented to me with that knowing smile that I always dressed too drab. Yes, I like drab. I want to disappear into the background. I do not want to stand out as a man dressed by his wife.

Why do women want to dress their male partners? And why do they think they know what is best for them? After all the years of dressing poor little Ken, you would think that she could dress us. Clothes do make the man! Put on a clean, crisp suit and you walk tall and proud. You can look directly into the eyes of others. You can win hearts in clothes like that. Put on a green and yellow striped shirt and the same man hunches over like Quasimoto, skulking along with his head hanging down. Clothes alter our very nature.


Men used to dress like men. Give me a sword and dagger in my belt, a fine hat on my head with a long plume, high black leather boots, a puffy white shirt, a doublet, a fine silk cloak on my shoulder and I feel like I am somebody: a knight on a fair mission. I can be chivalrous and compassionate. I can be knowing, sentimental, intellectual. I can be pure and good. How could I be anything else? With a green and yellow shirt, I am a contemptible little worm slithering away from humanity.

So...there is our poor Prime Minister Harper, in front of his mirror, putting on the ritz, dressed to the nines...a caballero, a cavalier, a true knight errant. But alas, even a mighty knight may be caught unawares by a dwarf, a troll, or worse, a dragon...then, too late...our knight turns to look into the very maw of the beast as it belches its fury and fire...."Dear...put on this green vest that I got you..." The chest collapses, the sword evaporates, the cape becomes a pair of underwear, the high black boots become over-tight socks. "Yes Dear....".