Cartel Update - Aug 25

Yep - two days after the last meeting the full Cartel decided to get together on Friday. I guess the women folk wanted to see if they could charm their way into a few freebies - BUT NO!


Anyway - I'm getting ready to go canoeing so this is a bit abbreviated. As was the case on Wednesday we were attended to by Danielle and Ali (pictured above). The Salt & Pepper set provided by D was a wonderful Pot of Chili accompanied by a matching Fire Extinguisher. Really neat. I have also attached a picture of the lobster claws from several weeks ago.




After dinner we went to see Little Miss Sunshine. This is an excellent movie and I highly recommend it. It is heartwarming and incredibly funny.

Cartel Update - Aug 23

With the recent return of Dr. Dandycube from the wilds of northern Ontario, I decided we needed to have a meeting to update myself on his exploits in the kayak. Since the female members of the cartel work for a living only Dr. DC and I were in attendance, along with Danielle (pictured below) and Ali from Wild Wing of course.
The night was a special treat for the boys. Since the females were not in attendance we were showered with affection by the staff and by the end of the night we each left with a Bud Light cap as well as box of 6 engraved beer glasses. They love us at Wild Wing - I'm not sure if it is our good looks, personality or our wealth of money - but - who cares we were treated like royalty.

After Wild Wing we were off to see the soon to be cult classic SNAKES ON A PLANE! You can't beat Samuel L. Jackson for entertainment value. Great movie despite the premise.

From the files of WTF!

I heard about this on the news tonight and initially thought it was a joke. For about 4 years now there has existed an organization called International Homeless Soccer (IHS), and this year the IHS World Cup is being played in South Africa. Yep, homeless people from about 40 countries will compete in a tournament to see which country's homeless will dominate the soccer pitch.

I may seem a bit callous here but why the heck are we raising money to send homeless people to South Africa when the money could be used for better purposes, maybe to help alleviate the suffering of all homeless people. Now - some questions do spring to mind.

One - what the heck are you going to do with the trophy if your team wins - put it in your shopping cart?

Two - If you go to a warm sunny place like Capetown, South Africa why would you want to be put on a plane and come back to the freezing streets of Toronto?

Three - How do you get a passport without a permanent address?

Four - What's next - the Rubbydub Rugby World Finals?

The Old Man & The Sea

Once again we have a guest entry from Dr. DC who has recently returned from his adventure to the north of Superior. The big Gitche Gumee. The lake that took down the Edmund Fitzgerald in 1975. The disaster being later immortalized by Gordon Lightfoot in his song "The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald".

Anyway - suffice to say it is a scary lake and Dr. DC left his home last week hell bent to paddle (in his brand new kayak) out to copper island some 10 or so miles off the north shore of the big Gitche Gumee. I'll let him tell his story.
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Bobby!!! Just got back! The virgin kayaker fulfills his greatest dream! The trip was magnificent! I once again felt like a 16-year-old virgin in the capable hands of a 35-year-old hooker from Val d'Or. All was right in the world!

In the early morning of August 17, 2006, I saw the sunbeams glint off the Lake as she first caught sight of my manly, 15 foot, rigid kayak; of course, tantalizingly ribbed in all the right places.




But, to be honest, it was with a mix of trepidation, longing and bashfulness that I donned my protection and mounted her soft, supple body. While afraid to look, I knew that her horizon was spreading before me. In that moment I knew that life would never be the same again. I thrust my untried paddle into her waters and felt her gently give way as she relished the first passion and fumbling of my inexperience (this, I believe, is the dream of all coquette lakes).





So, as she began to heave and moan, I was forced to thrust my paddle deeper and harder.




Panting, she grew wetter and wetter and pulled me down upon her writhing waves. Clearing my mind of all petty things, I gave in to the pure, carnal lust of her fury. On and on and on I rode.


Hours later, sweating, tired and very sore, I eased my kayak out. That night I had a very fitful sleep. With her scent still lingering upon me, I re-lived every passionate moment of the day before. Each day after, I rode her over and over and over......addicted to her tempestuous wiles.

But, all things have their season; my time to leave had arrived. On that final morning, I could not just drive away without one last encounter. Early as the sun rose upon her majestic body, I crept upon her one last time. Mesmerized by the gentle rising and falling of her swollen crests, I rode her as she slept. Then, as I made ready to leave, she awoke just enough to wave good-bye.

Now......we only meet in our dreams.

Canoeing Again

Just returned home from yet another canoe trip to the northern wilds of Ontario. This time I spent 3 nights in the beautiful Temagami area. The sunsets were spectacular, except for the last night when it poured rain all night.

Since this area is crown land and therefore not regulated by the provincial park authorities, individuals are allowed greater freedom in expressing their ideas as to the perfect outdoor amenity. A wonderful assortment is available in this area and should itself be reason enough to travel to this region.

The Football Game

The Great Canadian Football Rivalry .... or .... how to waste 5 hours of my life cheering for the stupid Hamilton TigerCats.

So for lack of anything better to do I was off to the Hamilton / Toronto football game on Saturday at Ivor Wynne stadium in Hamilton. I'm a traditionalist when it comes to football and I prefer to watch the game outdoors as it was meant to be played. Hamilton's Ivor Wynne stadium is as good as venue as you can get and it was with great anticipation that I left my home on Saturday. The game promised to be a close one - after all we are talking about two teams who are close to each other in the standings - each has had two wins so far this season while Hamilton has 6 loses compared to Toronto's five. OK - I didn't expect it to be a great game but for once maybe Hamilton could beat the crap (or at least win) out of their arch rival, Toronto.

I guess I should have expected the worse when, during the pregame warmup the coach of Toronto (Michael "Pinball" Clemons) walked by and stopped to talk to someone near me on the sidelines and I reached over, said hi and shook his hand. I should have known better than to tempt fate but hey, we are talking about a local legend here. Needless to say it was the highlight of the evening.

Hamilton played so poorly that we left before the fourth quarter was done (the score was 20 to 2). Unfortunately for us 90% of the crowd also left at the same time and it was a bit of a zoo getting home. Ah well - maybe next year!

Cartel Update - Aug 11

Dr. DC and I met at Wild Wing on Friday where I dined on a fine selection of wings before the much delayed Mrs. C (LED) joined us at 5:30. Having recently completed her tour of the northern shores of Lake Erie (now that's excitement), Dr. DC and I were favoured with a fine selection of photos documenting her excursion.

Both Ali and an old favourite Danielle were in attendance this week and were presented with a Salt & Pepper set in the form of a pair of lobster claws (from my trip to the coast a few weeks back). Unfortunately HBB failed to bring the camera to document the occasion therefore no pictures of the Salt & Pepper set nor of the lovely ladies in waiting are available.

After dinner we proceeded to the movies and wound up seeing Pulse for no other reason than it happened to be starting upon our arrival. All in all it was a crappy movie and I wouldn't recommend even watching it on DVD. After the movie Mrs. C and I snuck into a second movie that happened to be starting as we exited from Pulse. Dr. DC, ever the law abiding citizen, failed to join us as Mrs. C and I took the law into our own hands feeling somewhat justified having spent good money on a really bad movie already.

The movie we saw was Descent which was not half bad all things considered. At one point early in the movie there was a frightening scene which caught Mrs. C off guard causing her to scream out 'Jesus Murphy'. I almost pissed myself with laughter as this was the first, and I suspect, the last time I will ever hear her curse. Two movies under our belt and we headed home bringing to close another Cartel Week.

The Last Trip?

This past trip on the lake may well have been the last for the old boat - forever.








It began on Friday with an uneventful trip out on the lake. The weather was beautiful and the almost full moon reflecting off the lake was the perfect touch. Unfortunately, the following morning D noted that the old boat was listing to the port. A small list but nonetheless indicative of a leaking pontoon.








Undaunted we headed out to shallows where Houseboat Bob ventured into the water and with D's help installed the new steering control cable. A new cable for a sinking boat.


Later that night we returned to the bay for another great dinner and to our surprise, a fireworks show. A fitting end to a great day on the boat. High winds drove us back to the marina this morning and after docking, it was very apparent that the old boat was listing badly. After 24 years on the water, the 'Boob n Doot' may soon be retired from service.

Weekly Cartel Update - Aug 1

Today Dr. DC was able to paddle in from the wilds of Northern Ontario and meet with me at Wild Wing for an impromptu cartel meeting. As you can see, Dr. DC has recently taken the plunge into the world of kayaking.

Anyway - the most lovely Ali was there again this week and took care of out beverage and food needs for which she was presented with a Salt & Pepper train set. This is one which I had picked up from the Cog Railway store at the base of Mount Washington while on my recent New England trip.


















After wings we headed out to watch Miami Vice. If you are a fan of the original TV show then you will probably enjoy this movie. If you are looking for a movie filled with bikini babes, fast cars, boat chases, and a lot of shooting - well then not so much will you enjoy it. It was just ok in my book.

My Philosophy of Life

I ran across this yesterday and decided it exactly expresses my own philosophy of life. The author is listed as unknown.

Michelle Pfeiffer

LIFE ....... is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,

.......... but ..........

Nick Nolte

rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming,

WOW - What A Ride!

Canadian Currency - The Fight Against Terrorism

Due to the global war on terrorism, many terrorist organizations have had their finances frozen by democratic governments. Consequently, these terrorist organizations have resorted to counterfeiting.

In a bold move to counteract the counterfeiting activities of these terrorist organizations, the Canadian government has decided to redesign the Canadian currency to prevent the radical Islamists from ever touching it!

As an added benefit it is also hoped that this new currency will have a positive effect on tourism.