A Brave New World

The End of Days

2009-08-25T15:17:00.007-04:00

Well summer is almost done. It's that time of year when I must get around to fixing up courses and steeling myself for the next 9 months. Truth be told I'm actually looking forward to it.

It has been a good summer with three canoe trips so far and a lot of WoW, movies and just plain relaxing. I purchased a new movie camera this summer and have had a blast taking it on my canoe trips - aka survivorman style. You can check out my latest canoeing exploits on my 'Paddling with Bob' blog.

June is done - Happy Canada Day

2009-07-01T11:57:00.003-04:00

Well the month of June is now over with and the summer of Bob proceeds to July. In June I was able to complete the Great Circular Great Lakes Road Trip as well as my first canoe trip. I have also been busy updating my new canoeing blog (see Paddlin With Bob to the right) with my latest exploits as well as some of those I can remember from the past.

Now it is back to Warcraft!

I'm Back

2009-04-14T19:30:00.003-04:00

It has been many months since I have had the desire to get to my blog. What with school work and a drive to get my Warcraft character to level 80 it has been a busy 6 months. Recently though, as the weather warms, my thoughts have increasingly drifted towards canoeing. I received several books on canoeing routes for Christmas and have read each one with an ever increasing desire to get out on a lake. In response to these desires I have recently planned an 8 day trip in August through Algonquin park as well as several other smaller outings - see the following link to The Summer of Bob.

Summer of Bob

Since the weather, and my work, prohibit me from doing anything more than planning at this point, I've decided to begin the process of documenting my many canoeing journeys over the years. These can be found on a new Blog entitled - Paddling With Bob - see the link to the side. Over the next two months I hope to have documented all of my journeys - well all that I can remember.

Haliburton 2008 is now in the books.

2008-10-11T12:56:00.004-04:00

Each year we take all of the kids from Grade 7 and up to a week long retreat in the Haliburton Forest Reserve where we undertake trust building and leadership activities as well as rock climbing and high ropes activities.

As has been the case for several years now, the experience was wonderful. It is very enlightening to see the students under non-academic conditions. Additionally we are able to understand their fears and desires through the reflective portion of the program. Every night we spend about two hours as a group talking about our goals in life and how well we are doing in achieving them.

Now - poor HBB is trying to recover from a severe lack of sleep as well as a blistered foot from pouring boiling water on myself while draining potatoes. This week there was a certain karma element with respect to HBB and water. It's a long story involving tipping instructors out of a canoe but HBB certainly experienced karma while in Haliburton.

I leave you with THE iconic picture of Haliburton - less the floating dock which was missing this year.

Week #3 - Alive and Well

2008-09-20T11:13:00.004-04:00

Week #3 at the school is in the books and HBB is alive and well. Very little excitement this week as most students and teachers are beginning to fall into the routine.

Of note was the school trip to Stratford to see Hamlet. That is one long play!

I love to shop in Stratford on these occasions. Usually I purchase a few books from the discount bins along the sidewalk and visit a number of the stores which sell unique items. This year was no different as I picked up two books by Elmore Leonard and a most amazing invention, an attachment to your water tap which changes colour based upon the water temperature - blue for cold and red for hot.

I must admit I rushed home to try out this invention. LED eat your heart out!! Actually I would have picked one up for you LED, but they only had the one - and it's all mine!

Week #2 - Near Death

2008-09-13T15:10:00.003-04:00

I don't often get sick but when I do it is a near death experience. All this week I've been fighting a cold using a tried and true remedy. After coming home I immediately make myself a hot rum toddy (heavy on the rum, light on the toddy) and then head for the couch where I cover myself with blanket after blanket. After 3 or 4 'remedies', I am ready for bed and a great nights sleep. When I awake in the morning the cold has temporarily been suppressed and I am fine for most of the day.

My strategy was working fine until Friday. Because of various school functions, I was at the school from 8 am until almost midnight last night. No chance to rest the aching bones. No chance for a remedy. The cold took hold of me and is currently kicking the crap out of me. I haven't given up on the remedy though, the only problem is that I have to drag my sorry butt out to the store this afternoon in order to refresh my supplies.

I guess one could attribute my current plight to karma - all of the negative vibes pouring down from Moosonee.

Week#1

2008-09-05T20:02:00.006-04:00

Well it has been quite a week!

It is always exciting starting a new school year. New faces, new courses to teach, new parents, new teachers and a wealth of meetings. Added to that this week was the blog attack on HBB because of his comments on Moosonee. A most challenging week!

Things on the blog front seem to be settling down as my hit counter is finally dipping below 400 per day. Hopefully I'll soon be back to the level of blog obscurity that I usually enjoy.

On the school front, this year is shaping up to be a fun year. The kids are great and the parents seem very supportive. With that combination how can I not have a great year. Right now though, HBB has to go to bed. The school meeting until 11 pm last night did me in and I just want to curl up in bed and dream of WoW.

An apology (of sorts) to Moosonee

2008-09-03T20:09:00.005-04:00

OK - OK - I give ! ! ! .......... I apologize ! ! !

So many people, so many derogatory comments! I get it - you all love Moosonee!

My response to a few of your comments.

1. First off - I get it. Moosonee is an ideal place to live for some people. To be honest, I was looking forward to the trip. I really wanted to go back to see how the area had changed and how it hadn't since I was there as a kid. I did not come with the preconceived notion that I was not going to enjoy myself. I do understand and appreciate the beauty of nature. No, I'm not an urban person. I live and have lived for most of my life in the rural areas of this and other provinces. I appreciate and enjoy small town life.

2. Understand - PLEASE understand - that most of my comments were based on being a tourist in Moosonee for 3 days. Some of you suggested that I didn't leave the hotel or try to experience the area. You are wrong. I did take a trip up to James Bay - and it was lovely. I did go to Moose Factory to visit and I did enjoy my visit to the HBC house. But let's be honest - there was only one museum open on the entire island. The beautiful church that I remembered as a kid was closed. I really wanted to see the church. Why is it closed? (Response to Jim - I also wanted to see the wooden pegs that I remembered as a kid but the church is closed - shut down - falling down - and yes it is a shame). Why hasn't the town, or whom ever is in charge, recognized the value of the church as an historic monument and done something about it?

3. I wanted to visit other museums in Moosonee but most were closed. When I asked people (yes I did talk to residents of Moosonee including people who should have had a vested interest in the tourist trade such as the owner of the hotel in which we stayed) what else there was to do and see, the most common response was, "that's about it". It seems that once Two Bay closed down operation no one bothered to fill in the gap left by their departure. Seriously - why isn't there an up to date brochure listing the places to go and see in the area. For some of you who commented on my research skills (Corrine) - most of the information that I was able to obtain was outdated. I talked to one couple who had come expecting to book on Two Bay as there is an internet site promoting Two Bay that is still active - they were from the US.

4. While some of you who have visited Moosonee remember the train ride with fond memories (again Jim), all I can say is that it is now not that enjoyable. Yes, the train still leaves Cochrane at 9am but you don't get to Moosonee until 4pm. The train leaves again at 6pm so you can't do a day visit (nor should you, that is why I booked for 3 days). The return train leaves at 6pm and gets into Cochrane at 2am (on the day we travelled). By the way, Jim - the bar car you remember so well closed at 9:30!

5. I understand that the people of Moosonee can't control the ONR, however, I truly believe that a united front could get the train to offer a better, more enjoyable service. After all the ONR is a government sponsored company. From the bottom of my heart I am telling the people of Moosonee that if they don't do something about the situation soon, the word of mouth ( I'm not the only one who was annoyed by the lack of communication with respect to tourism) will kill or seriously harm the tourism industry in the area.

6. To Terri & Corrine - I would have loved to go fishing and enjoy a BBQ and go for a nature walk - but none of those activities were promoted! I did walk back from the old base - and that was enjoyable as well but it only took an hour or so. Where are the nature walks - where is a map showing same. Where are the brochures on who to contact regarding a BBQ or a fishing service? When I was dropped off at Moose Factory and asked the driver what I should do/see, he responded with, "walk up there for 15 minutes and you'll see the HBC house. That was the extent of promoting activities on the island! As an aside - we were told by a local resident that we should try and rely upon the map we had as best as possible and not ask for directions (the map was brutally inaccurate), since some people think it is great sport to give tourist wrong directions. Again I repeat - this was a comment from a local person - a resident of the area!

7. As for the comment on dogs being smarter than 85% of the residents (check the wording on the original blog), I acknowledge that that comment was over the top but I must tell you - that phrasing came from one of the local residents when we enquired as to what we should do about the dog that was following us all day. We were so worried that the dog might not find his way back that we actually flagged down a cab and tried to get him to drive the dog back to the base. The cab driver was amused by our ignorance and concern over the dog.

8. I have a sense of humour - so yes, my houseboat (or boathouse - or other descriptions of same) is (was) a shitboat. But I loved that boat - and can laugh about your comments - which, in all honesty, are not that far off the mark.

9. As for the comments attacking me personally as a womanizer, pervert, bigot, shithead, dickhead, etc. - well, what can I say but that you have the right to comment as you please - unlike some of you, I'm not going to get upset about comments based on ignorance.

10. For those of you that included a name or tag along with your comments - Thank You.

HBB

p.s. - I sometimes do respond to well founded critism so I have removed the link to the Male Fantasy Files as it seems to have upset some of you - though I note that most people who commented on same spent more time looking at that link than the original blog!

Moosonee Revisited

2008-09-02T22:37:00.008-04:00

Holy Cow!

I can't believe the feedback I've received from my previous blog entitled: Moosonee - A Trip Into The Past (refer to the comments on the third blog below). It would seem that I pissed off more than one resident of Moosonee. I direct most of this blog to Anonymous #4 (and #5). {as a side note - please use a tag instead of the most boring anonymous}

First off - you are right. Moosonee has a lot of qualities that a resident may desire - such as the short walk across town, the lack of pollution (if you don't count bugs as pollution), the fishing, the isolation from the hustle and bustle of a large town and the fact that everyone knows everyone else. A small town feel. I can appreciate those qualities.

However, to defend my rant about Moosonee as best I can - my comments originated from the perspective of a tourist - not a resident. As I mentioned in my earlier blog - the Polar Bear Express is recognized and marketed throughout the world. In the hotel guest logs I looked through, people from all over the world come to visit Moosonee. To be honest, most of the comments prior to 2006 were positive - people enjoyed the experience. Since 2006 however, the comments were mostly negative due to the lack of facilities for tourists. As I mentioned in my blog - most of the tourist sites were closed during our visit. In addition, the lack of tourist consideration of the train itself (with respect to timing) made my visit less than pleasurable.

OK - so whom do I blame. Honestly I believe the people who live in Moosonee have to accept most of the responsibility for the lack of tourist amenities. It is up to the local residents to decide - do you want tourists or not. If you don't I'm ok with that - just stop marketing the town and the Polar Bear Express. If you are proud of your town and want it to be a showcase then get off your ass and do something about the pathetic state of your tourist trade. You decide - either way is fine with me - just stop deluding tourists who spend a lot of money and time to come visit your community.

As for your last comment about the 'seeds that were sown', knowing my father I have no trouble believing that I have a half sister or brother residing in Moosonee. Since my father passed away a few years ago I have no way of confirming the state of my relatives so I just ask one question - do you have red hair?

5 Days on The French

2008-08-28T21:15:00.029-04:00

The much anticipated French River trip has come to an end and I must say it was a most enjoyable experience. Mr. B. and I took 6 students with us for 4 nights / 5 days on the French River. In all we did approximately 60 km with a total of 4 portages.

Day #1 was uneventful save for the inability of a few students to maintain a straight line with their canoe. Luckily we had a good wind at our back and made the required 9 km that day.

Day #2 started early as we had to complete 2 portages and 15 km in one day. I like this picture of the sun rising - it may be my new screensaver.

The second portage was brutal and we didn't complete it until 2 pm with still 7 km to go before camp. I'm not sure if the problem was with tired students, a rush to get to camp or the wind in our face for most of the day but the inevitable happened. A boat went over. A few items got wet as you might expect. What was unexpected was the beautiful underwear tree that came as a result of trying to dry clothing.

Day #3 was a carbon copy of the previous day - sunny and hot but this time with little wind. The portage was relatively easy and following a quick shore lunch we were able to do some small rapids. A most rewarding day.

Day #4 - What can I say but another gorgeous day with little wind and a small portage. Time enough for another shore lunch and finally at our site by 3 pm - an easy day. Entertainment was provided by the only male student on the trip who decided to show us how to use a canoe as a sled. He suffered only minor scraps and bruises.

Day #5 and the end of the trip. A spectacular last morning to close off a spectacular trip.

Having reviewed the above, I must admit that my descriptions of the journey are rather boring. However - because of the various personalities involved, the trip was thoroughly enjoyable - on so many different levels. Unfortunately many of the funny stories can't be revealed in print nor would print do them justice. I guess you had to be there.

The French River - 2008

2008-08-23T16:50:00.003-04:00

It has been a while since I have posted anything - I guess Moosonee left me shell-shocked. Haven't done much in the intervening days but for a few days of school meetings. A sure sign that summer draws to an end - meetings!

Anyway, tomorrow I am off to the French River for a canoe trip with Mr. B. and some school kids. The last hurrah before starting school in ten days. Should be fun - the canoeing that is! I'll blog more when I return, right now I have to finish packing.

Did I mention that I got rid of the 70 lb behemoth that was my favourite canoe and bought a new 36 lb beauty. I love the new canoe though I have yet to take it on a trip. For me canoes are a lot like women - and I like mine light-weight and easy to maneuver (ok - I have some work to do on that line).

Moosonee - A Trip Into The Past

2008-08-01T10:24:00.009-04:00

The background - my dad was in the Air Force and as a kid from grades 4 to 7 we lived on a radar base next to a town called Moosonee. Moosonee is located on the southern shores of James Bay, some 300 km north of Cochrane. Cochrane being the most northern point you can reach by road in Ontario.

Last week I got the urge to take a trip to Moosonee. I wanted to see if the house we once lived in was still standing. A trip into my past so to speak. I was excited! A true quest!

Sunday was uneventful. We left around noon and drove straight to Cochrane. It only took about 7 hours - much faster than I remembered. The new road bypasses all those little towns that you once had to drive through. Towns like Cobalt, Swastika, and my favourite, Porquis Junction. We arrived in Cochrane at about 7pm.

It is hard to describe Cochrane. When we first arrived my first thought was - what a shithole! But after spending two days in Moosonee and getting back to Cochrane my impression was of a booming, prosperous town - but I am getting ahead of myself. For now - let's go with shithole.

After getting our train tickets for the next morning we tried for dinner. Several people whom we asked, including the guy checking us in to our motel, recommended Mike's Steakhouse. When I asked the guy if there was a dress code he gave me a look as if I had just arrived from outer space. This should have been my first clue. To describe Mike's as a steakhouse is akin to describing a Lada as a luxury Russian car (for those of you who remember the Lada). First comes the drink order - beer obviously - and the waitress asks if you want a glass with that (it's a northern thing I guess). Next - when my friend ordered the Silver steak special, the waitress shook her head and replied - no you don't want that - it's really tough. I think she took pity on us being as we were obviously from out of town. I say obvious because neither my friend nor I were wearing a 'T-shirt' as dinner apparel.

Back to the motel in anticipation of riding the Polar Bear Express to Moosonee the next day. At this point in the narrative I should discuss how the Polar Bear Express got its name. According to the story, it was given this name as a nick-name, a joke since there are no Polar Bears within a 1000 km radius and the train would stop for every trapper and prospector who flagged it down between Cochrane and Moosonee. For some reason the name stuck and it turned out to be a marketing miracle. People from all over the globe would come to ride the Polar Bear Express .... once!

The trip to Moosonee, some 300 km, took from 9am until close to 4pm by the time we got into Moosonee. At times we were travelling at 10 km/hr. The top speed was 70 km/hr. This means you are looking out the window for 7 hours at a world comprised of nothing but trees and the occasional hunt camp. But you must look out the window for the entire trip as a fisherman must look at the end of his pole - the belief that there is a chance of spotting a bear or moose. Trust me - there is no chance - but for some reason you must keep your face pressed to the window. I saw more F'n trees in that 7 hours than Paul Bunyan in his lifetime.

We arrive at 4pm. We get off the train. We see nothing but dirt/mud roads, native people wandering aimlessly, the local liquor store next to the police station - both with barred windows, and approximately 10 gajillion blackflies and mosquitoes. Now this is truly a Shithole! {In order, these are pictures of the beautiful main street and the view in front of out hotel - click on them for a closer look}.

My second clue came when we checked in. We asked the owner what sites we should see while in Moosonee for two days. He took a step back, cocked his head to one side and looked at me as if I had just peed on his foot. "Two days"' he questioned while looking through his reservation book. "Well Holy God, you're right", he said while shaking his head from side to side.

At this point in the narrative I must move away from a detailed step by step account of our experiences. It would bore you to death. Suffice it to say that it was probably the worst two days in my life and yet the best two days (only because I have a sense of humour). In the end you wander about the town looking for something to occupy your time and justify the expense. Most of the museums are closed down. There are only two restaurants in the entire town - one of those being at our motel. One grocery store and the liquor store. That's it! The good times come when you meet other tourist wandering around with the same expression as we were no doubt carrying - that being - What a SHITHOLE!

We met a lot of people during the two days. Nice people. We would sit for hours (because there was nothing to do) and talk about what a shithole Moosonee was and whether or not they should just let the whole town die by ripping up the rail line. The discussion also included talk about the role of the native people in this situation. For the most part they are happy with collecting there unemployment benefits from the government. You certainly don't get the impression that they welcome tourists. They certainly don't accommodate tourists. As an example - you must check out of your hotel by 10 or 11 am despite the fact that the train doesn't leave until 6 pm that day. The result being that there are many people wandering the streets looking for something to do to kill 7 hours before they can escape the shithole.

In the end we did escape. The only way the train ride could be worse is on the return trip. You leave at 6 pm and get back to Cochrane at 1 am. You don't even have the millions of trees to look at for most of the trip.

I leave you with some stories.

In the restaurant my friend asked the waitress what beer she had on tap. After a few seconds the waitress finally admitted that she didn't know what 'on tap' meant. You can only get bottled beer in Moosonee.

Another time, at the other restaurant, the husband of a couple we had just met also asked what beer was on tap. The waitress replied with the names of the three brands of beer they carried. He chose one and asked for a pint glass. She returned with a bottle. He should have known better.

One evening my friend ordered a pork chops with a baked potato for her meal. After placing our order, several other couples came in (we knew them all by this point) and ordered their meals. We waited and waited and waited. Approximately an hour later the waitress comes by with our meals and apologizes for the delay explaining that it takes a long time to make a baked potato. During this entire time no other orders were filled since the cook does one meal at a time - in order! My friend had backed up the whole restaurant by an hour with her thoughtless ordering of a baked potato.

One day while out for a walk at the old air force base (I did get to see where I grew up so that was neat - this is a picture of the old homestead), a dog started trotting beside us. He followed us everywhere including the mile long trek back into the town. He even stayed out front of the hotel while we went inside. My friend was worried that the dog wouldn't be able to get back home so she asked a native person about it and he replied that she shouldn't worry - that the dogs do that with all the tourists. We later found out from another person that the dogs follow tourists around hoping like hell that they will pick up the $55 tab to put them on the train so that they can get out of town. Apparently the natives don't treat their dogs very well and the dogs are smart enough to want to escape Moosonee. From my reckoning, that makes them smarter than 85% of the population!

Finally - Pictures!

2008-07-27T00:48:00.000-04:00

Holy crap! Though I have been nagged (by the female members of the Cartel - who else!) on several occasions about not taking pictures of the Salt & Pepper shakers, I didn't realize it has been almost 2 years since my last update on the Cartel. Ok - so here goes.

We met this Saturday (minus D) and presented the wait staff with Mr. Salty and Captain Pepper. A set of shakers that I picked up on my recent trip to Maine. As you can see, both of the wait staff - oh what the hell - waitresses are extremely glad to receive such a fine gift.

We also talked to the owner about building a cabinet in which to display the shakers we have donated to date. I'm not sure of the number but it must be close to 150 or so. This may or may not become a reality but we shall persevere.

After dinner at Wild Wing we were off to the movies - yep - The Dark Knight. Not much to say that hasn't already been said by many others. A great movie. I must say that I like Christian Bale as an actor. I didn't realize that one of his first movies - American Psycho - was made in 2000. For some reason I thought it was much earlier. 3:10 to Yuma, Reign of Fire and The Machinist are also great movies.

After beating Dr. D in air hockey (3 out of 3) it was home to blog and pack. I'm off to Moosonee on the shores of James Bay tomorrow. This is a small air force town which I haven't been back to see since my family left when I was in grade 7. It has since been dismantled but I have a yearning to go back and see my old stomping grounds as it were - old age I guess.

Home Sweet Home

2008-07-22T12:01:00.008-04:00

Back from Maine where the weather was perfect! Except for the drive back which was two days of continuous rain.

This year I discovered what they (people from BoothBay Harbor) call 'Land Trusts'. These are areas of land reserved for walking parks. Most of the Land Trusts are located along the coastal shoreline and I spent many a days walking them. Very interesting at low tide!

Also did a number of road trips in search of Lighthouses. One of these trips resulted in the discovery of a Salt & Pepper Museum - how cool.

Then I came home. It wasn't as boring as this blog but I just don't have the time - must get back to WoW.

Oh Canada

2008-07-02T18:42:00.008-04:00

Well, Canada Day came and went with somewhat of a bang. First, D and I went to see the movie, Wanted. I must encourage all to see this movie - it is well done and most entertaining.

Next we were off to visit a graduate (MT) who was running her dogs in a Canada Day show put on by her group Pawzie Traction. Though we couldn't stay for the entire show we did get to see some of the dogs practice. Truly fascinating watching how eager the dogs are to please. This is a picture of MT's dog - Bato.

Next stop was for dinner at a friends. After dinner and drinks, we lit some fireworks as is the custom. As you can see by this picture, I was enthralled by the spectacle. So much so I almost knocked over my martini. By the way - had baked potatoes with sour cream and caviar - nice - a first for HBB.

And tomorrow I'm off to Maine for just over 2 weeks. Have a great summer all!

The First Trip

2008-06-22T10:38:00.018-04:00

On Thursday morning I left for my first solo canoe trip of the year. Forecasts of rain and cold weather could not deter my desire to get away for a few days. You might well ask, why does a man who lives alone feel the need to get away? I have asked that same question of myself and after three days of talking to no one but myself, I have the answer. But first some pictures.

One answer might be - I went away to try out my new canoeing gear. Here is a pic of my new, rain-proof tent. It was put to the test this trip as it rained every day. I must say I was pleased to wake up each morning in a dry sleeping bag. I love my new tent!

The first night was overcast and I was barely able to see the full moon as it peaked out of the clouds for a brief second. I was in bed shortly afterwards as I intended to be up early.

The next day I was off again - ok not so early - and it rained for most of the 5 hour journey. Despite the rain it was wonderful to be canoeing alone in the wilderness. Here is a pic I took while waiting out the heaviest of the downpours.

By the time I arrived at my second destination the skies had cleared and it was time to build a shore fire. As you can see, despite the wet wood, it doesn't take long to go from humble beginnings to a roaring fire.

Part of the answer to my question can be seen in these next two photos. This is why I go canoeing - to be able to better appreciate the beauty of nature and my role within it. It is difficult to describe the pleasure from sitting for hours with nothing to do but watch the world go from a sunlit wonder to a moonlit night scape.

The third day - the return trip - started out under sunny skies and then deteriorated into a full blown thunderstorm by the time I was halfway home. There is a certain fascination with mother nature while canoeing across a lake in the middle of a lightning storm. Scary for sure but nonetheless truly fascinating.

In the end I found the answer to my question of why does a man who lives alone find the need to go on a solo canoe trip into the wilderness. The answer, as is usually the case, is very simple. When you first arrive at a site there are a series of tasks which must be accomplished. The tent has to go up, lines for the food pack must be strung and then dinner has to be prepared. This gives me a sense of purpose. That done, there is nothing to do but build a fire, sit back and watch. This is the key - there is NOTHING TO DO! No bills to pay, phone messages to get back to, emails to write, no thoughts of what has to be done tomorrow. At home there is always something that you could or should be doing. In the wilderness by yourself there is NOTHING TO DO but sit and watch the world around you. That is the heart of true peacefulness.

Almost!

2008-06-17T17:52:00.003-04:00

The prom is over (it was great this year but I have no pictures) and I have finished with my Monday meeting so today I spent the day getting the canoe ready for the first trip this year. A few minor repairs and a thorough cleaning - the result - a shiny (looks like new) canoe.

Tomorrow it is off to shop and pack and then hopefully (weather permitting) I will be off Thursday. Did I mention that I bought a new tent, sleeping bag, and backpack for this year? I was tired of staying in leaky tents so I spent the big bucks on something good this year. Pictures will follow when I return Saturday or Sunday.

Awwwwww

2008-06-12T09:58:00.003-04:00

A little history lesson before telling this story. Every year the students undertake an initiative called Super Learning Super Fun (SLSF) which I oversee. We invite students from nearby schools to come to our own school for a day long leadership conference in which we play games and listen to guest speakers.

Although it may sound simple enough, the project is a big deal for our school and the team of students responsible for organizing the day are under a lot of stress to ensure that it is highly successful. With me as the overseer I make sure the students are constantly exposed to stress - I like to see how these kids will perform at a high level. In fact this year one of the boys on the team was fired from the management team when he failed to deliver as promised. Anyway - the point being is that the project is run at a high level and the student management team are expected to perform at their very best and the stress level is so high that they often hate the process but they are extremely proud of their efforts when it is all over and done with.

That said - on Wednesday my SLSF management team surprised me by showing up at my door for an impromptu 'thank-you' dinner. Each of the girls contributed in some way to the dinner and it was wonderful. We had salad, eggplant and oriental chicken for dinner with key lime pie for desert. They had even brought all the silverware and drinks, including wine for the old man. Later we watched a movie and had popcorn. It was wonderful!

There are days when I ask myself why did I become a teacher and then there are days like Wednesday when your heart is filled with such love for these kids that you just know the world is a wonderful place filled with amazing kids. On those days I thank the gods of opportunity that I am a teacher.

2008-06-10T11:46:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was almost the last day of school before vacation time. Almost because I still have a few reports to get done, a prom on Friday and a meeting next Monday but I am getting closer to being in my canoe on a lake somewhere up north surrounded by the tranquility of nature.

Yesterday my boss, as he does every year at this time (if I've been good), presented me with a fine bottle of scotch. This year it was a very expensive single malt from the lowlands named Auchentoshan! I include the posted description for your reference:

Description
Och'n'tosh'n. Sound this odd-looking word out (it's actually the proper pronunciation for this single malt) and you'll feel like something magical is about to happen - and you'll be right. If you prefer subtlety over intensity then this 18-year-old Auchentoshan is the answer.

As you might expect, I was full of anticipation of tasting this 18 year old beauty. The key phrase that had caught my eye was "subtlety over intensity". At my age, and with the onset of a summer vacation filled with tranquility, nature, canoeing, etc., I was looking forward to an evening of subtlety with a very mature 18 year old.

So late last night (after allowing my expectations to reach their maximum), I dared to open this beauty and poured a wee dram of the golden liquor into a small glass. I teased myself for a full minute by simply breathing in the wonderful aroma. I marvelled at the clear amber colour of her. I gently swirled the liquid around in the glass and admired her long legs (it's a scotch drinkers term) as she undulated down the sides of the vessel. I was ready!

At first sip though I realized that I was not dealing with a submissive golden haired Scottish beauty from the highlands but rather with a fiery red head from the lowlands. She entered my senses not with subtlety but with the cruelty of an explosive charge which carried down from my nose to the bottom of my stomach. Additionally, to my utter amazement, as I pulled the glass away I noticed that the once clear amber coloured 18 year old had disappeared to be replaced with an angry looking oily, milky mixture such as you might find in the ditches of Calcutta on a hot July day after the monsoons have passed. I felt betrayed - as one might after falling in love with a beautiful girl only to have her turn into an angry, bitter harpy once the marriage vows have been consummated.

But I was arrogant my friends. Did I turn away from this vixen who had harmed my very soul? No! I thought that given my many years of experience I could tame this wench who had turned into a bitch before my very eyes. After all, had I not gone through a divorce and lived to tell of it! Could this be any worse? With the boldness of a fool I turned once more to this fiery, angry beast and continued to consume her.

.
.
.

As I write this, some 2 hours after awakening upon the floor of my apartment in a pool of my own drool, I still feel as if I had gone a full twelve rounds with a 6 foot Amazonian Scottish whore who clawed, bit, chewed, and punched her way to victory over my tired old body. I'll give her that - she is a fighter! But as I said before - I am arrogant and last night notwithstanding, I look forward with eager anticipation to once again tackling the Scottish whore tonight. Tonight I will be prepared! Tonight I shall be victorious!

Day #1: Pre-summer of 2008

2008-06-05T20:41:00.003-04:00

While it is true I didn't have to go to school today, exams finished yesterday, I don't really count this as the start of my summer. I spent most of the day marking exams, a small portion on renting a tux for the prom next week, and the balance on leering (there is no better word to describe it) at Big Screen TV's.

In the end I came home empty handed. As is always the case I refuse to buy something and then have to wait for delivery. If I can't walk out of the store with it - I don't want it. In the case of Big Screen TV's, it may be a while before that happens.

Now I am off to finish marking the math tests.

A light!

2008-06-01T15:52:00.002-04:00

Sunday - classes are over and I am beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Tomorrow begins three days of exams (from the writing of I am currently taking a break), then the remainder of next week is marking and data base input.

Next weekend is reserved for producing report cards and then a slow Monday to Thursday while I await the prom on Friday - that reminds me - I have to rent a tux - should have done that today!

After the prom I think a weekend of shopping for canoeing supplies and after a school meeting on Monday and maybe Tuesday, I am off to the quiet of the woods.

Choo Choo

A Goal Realized

2008-05-22T17:50:00.003-04:00

I know I haven't blogged in quite a while but I have been extremely busy balancing school with Warcraft. My hard work though has finally paid off - no the students haven't gotten smarter - rather, yesterday at 11:15 pm I finally realized my goal of getting my WoW character to the maximum level of 70. I think it has been close to 18 months of playing to achieve this and I am now finally able to rest. That is until November when the next upgrade to WoW is due to hit the market.

This screen shot was taken 10 seconds after reaching level 70.

A good weekend

2008-04-01T20:42:00.005-04:00

Well it has been a long while since I blogged, not since my great road trip to Kingston in fact.

This past weekend I finally did make it to Kingston, Ontario. I arrived on Friday and began drinking margaritas at 8 pm and basically didn't stop drinking until Sunday. A most relaxing weekend. To be fair, the drinking was mixed in with Warcraft and Wii.

On Saturday I did take a break from drinking to have lunch with some former students. I also found out that my girl, H, won first prize in a film festival. It's a long story but the short version is that her film professor had his entire class do a film on a 'Can of Snails'. After completing the assignment, H, then entered her film in the Kingston film festival in which she won first place.

If you take the time to watch the posting on U-Tube you will figure out who H is. I must say that I am taking some credit for H's fame since there is no way she could have written those great lyrics if she had not been exposed to the many projects in my classes which involved, in one way or another, the lyrics of Stompin Tom. For my American friends who do not know who Stompin Tom is - well it is your loss.

For some reason, H, disabled the embedding option so I can not post her video here but follow the link to view.

Micro Snail

A confession and apology

2008-03-12T04:08:00.000-04:00

Well - as some of you who know HBB may have already guessed, HBB wasn't on a road trip at all. For those of you who don't know HBB - I apologize for allowing you to be misled by my words, however, I have to say that while I might have misled you - I didn't actually lie in any of my blogs. Read them carefully again.

I'm not sure in which category LED and Sunny fit but I appreciate the comments and felt a wee bit bad - but I needed to do this - I apologize and I'll explain later.

Yes I did wake up late - I did face south - but I never said I did it in the cities (or towns) I mentioned. The weather reports and pictures were obtained from many hours of searching the internet. Do you know how hard it was to find seasonal appropriate pictures (especially in late winter) of these towns!

I was thinking of entitling this blog - The top 10 reasons to take a fantasy road trip. I probably learned more about these towns and know them better than if I had actually driven there. Not to justify my actions, but it took me about 2 hours each day to prepare each blog.

Ok - The confession and justification. HBB needed some time to himself. I was getting burnt out at work and wanted a week to myself. If you know me that is nearly impossible. Every day at school I get asked about 200 to 300 questions. I was tired and wanted to spend time with myself. I actually like me.

I could accomplish this by actually going on a trip and spending over a $1000 or I could not. But if I stayed home I knew I would get people phoning or emailing asking how I was etc. God love those people but I needed to get away from the world for a week.

I turned off my phone, never checked my emails, and only left my place for food and booze during the entire week. It was great. I haven't talked to anyone in 7 days - except for unavoidable "would you like fries with that" or "would you like extra cheese on that" when ordering food. I feel refreshed and ready for the final stretch at school beginning next week.

To emphasise my point - I now have about 40 emails to respond to, and close to 15 messages on my answering machine - most of which are from students who don't read my blog - and who obviously don't listen in class (triple exclamation point here)!!!

So what did HBB do during his hiatus from the real world? Well I lived in my fantasy world of course. I read several books, played a bit of online poker, watched a lot of TV, got my DVD's organized (mostly), played a bunch of WoW. Generally I spent a week being only accountable to my bladder and stomach. Such a sweet week it was!

OK - now for the top 10 reasons to take a fantasy road trip.

10. - You can save $200 a day.
09. - You don't need to get your oil changed every 7 days!
08. - Never miss your favourite TV show.
07. - Reservations are easy.
06. - No need to go through Buffalo or Detroit.
05. - You don't have to spend $10 in a laundromat.
04. - You can put an entire chocolate bar on your pillow each night.
03. - Time, distance and money are no problem.
02. - You can sleep in well past check-out time.
01. - You can do it while spending the day in your underwear!

Day Six of the Quest for Kingston

2008-03-11T21:39:00.002-04:00

I must admit - HBB is getting bored. Almost time to come back to reality.

But first - where is it warmer than Kingston, Georgia (50 degrees today) and a Kingston that has a sufficient population for there to be a university? Where you ask!

Did I mention that Atlanta is only 30 minutes away from Kingston, Georgia and that Atlanta has a large international airport which has many direct flights south. South to Kingston, Jamaica man!

It was 85 degrees in Kingston, Jamaica Today. Nice! Perhaps this is where I should have gone all along.

Day Five of the Quest for Kingston

2008-03-10T20:11:00.003-04:00

Got up late this morning - up too late the night before. Anyway - just a mere 2 hours south of Kingston, Tennessee is the real small town of Kingston Georgia - population 746! Do you think that a university is located here - or a motel? The good news is that Kingston, Georgia is only 10 minutes from Rome and 30 minutes from Atlanta.

I'm not a civil war buff so I don't get the historical significance of Kingston but in case your interested a train (called The General) was stolen - and that's all there is to this town.

But Rome - now that is a different story. As they say - Rome is where the heart is!

Day Four of the Quest for Kingston

2008-03-09T18:40:00.007-04:00

Given the conditions yesterday, the idea of heading south was very appealing. The temperature in Kingston Tennessee was a beautiful 50 Degrees today - with no sign of snow.

Kingston, Tennessee is about 400 miles due south of Kingston, Ohio and amazingly enough about the same size in population - approximately 6000 people. The fact that there are motels available here and not in Kingston, Ohio is probably due to the close proximity of the Great Smokey Mountains National Park which is about 40 miles south east.

Kingston has two claims to fame - pretty good for a small town. The first and most boring is the coal fired plant which used to be the largest in the world when it was built in the 50's - the smokestacks are an impressive sight.

The second and most interesting is that it was the state capital for a single day in 1807. Why only a day you ask? Well apparently the white man promised the Cherokee nation that if the the Indians gave up their claims on the land in the surrounding area that Kingston would be made the capital city of Tennessee. The Indians did just that and true to the white man's word - Kingston was appointed the state capital - though just for the day. Seems the Indians didn't have a very good lawyer.

Kingston is (well it was when steam boats were in fashion) a port town - located on the Watts Bar Lake. Though it is a port town - no Queen's University is located here.

Day Three of the Quest for Kingston

2008-03-08T19:54:00.001-05:00

Actually - there was too much snow and the driving conditions were brutal today - so - I decided to spend the entire day inside. Except for the forced trip to buy alcohol of course.

Maybe tomorrow I shall venture forth.

Stuck in the snow HBB

Day Two of the Quest for Kingston

2008-03-07T18:31:00.005-05:00

I was up relatively early this morning and looked westward out of the window. I had a vision of the next Kingston - Kingston, Ohio. Located just 500 miles away from where I was - that's about 800km. Not that long of a drive though as most of it is on I-80 west. A person can make good time on the interstate.

Now Kingston, Ohio (if you can believe it), is smaller than Kingston, PA. A town of about 1000 people - obviously no university to be found here. In fact the town is so small they don't even have a place to stay. Luckily there is Comfort Inn in Circleville which is 10 minutes to the north.

Now the interesting thing is that Kingston, Ohio was originally known as Ingston. I don't know who that is but there is a street in town named 'K Ing' street. I guess they named it that before the unification of K with Ing.

Circleville is not much more interesting than Kingston - that is except for the town water tower. Tomorrow will be interesting as they are calling for about 3 inches of snow - today it was close to 50 degrees F.

Day One of the Quest for Kingston

2008-03-06T19:30:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago some of my students from the past enquired as to if and when I might be coming to visit them in Kingston. In response to their requests I thought about going on a road trip to Kingston.

Though I was up reasonably early this morning (considering it is March break), I ran into a few delays and didn’t get into my car until around 11am.

This is a picture of Kingston, (Kingston, Pennsylvania) as you drive in from the better known (and much bigger) town of Wilkes-Barre. It is a a small town a mere 700km from Alliston but most of it on the interstate. Though a nice town it is small and there are only a few options for dinner. Luckily Kingston does have Angelo’s Restaurant with the world famous special - One Pound Cheesesteak.

Though this is certainly Kingston, there is no Queen’s university to be had - thus no one I know. I guess this is the wrong Kingston. I think another Kingston is located to the west. Maybe tomorrow - now it is time for survivor, later a good book, then beddies.

Victorious! (in the colour of key lime)

2008-02-24T12:41:00.024-05:00

This year, thanks to one of our parents, the school community has been participating in a 'Quiz Night'. The first Quiz Night was held last November and the team that I was on, the Key Limes, was victorious. In fact the Key Limes kicked ass! Our team is comprised of two sets of parents, two teachers (one being myself), and a student (a son of one of the parents on our team).

{author's note: I firmly (pun intended) believe that a blog is not a worthy blog unless it contains at least one picture of a sexy female - the following pictures may seem inappropriate until one realizes that the bikinis are all 'key lime' in colour.}

At one point during last November's game, through our own stupidity and much to my chagrin, we had failed to put our team name on one of the submissions and were docked 50% of our score. Even with that severe penalty we won the night by some 20 points. And we didn't play nor win gracefully - nope - we were the most obnoxious team from the start. In fact our team name was a last second decision because we had been arguing within our group for about 15 minutes over the team name. The arguing amongst our group didn't end there and we were clearly the loudest most obnoxious team that night. Suffice it to say, when our victory was announced most of the parents and students we beat were a wee bit annoyed that we had won. Seconds after our first victory the calls for a rematch were made.

That sets the stage for this past Friday's rematch. In an attempt to defeat us, many of the teams had re-shuffled their participants to better stack their team with a higher knowledge base. Children of parents were dropped from the team in favour of knowledgeable friends and ringers brought in from outside of the school community. Idle chit chat which was present during the first Quiz Night was curiously absent on this ocaission. Cell phones were turned off. Drinking was at a minimum at the other tables (not our own of course since we believed that drinking was what brought us our first win). People were serious about taking us down.

After the first round the Key Limes were in 4th place. The second round saw us move into 3rd place where we stayed for the third and fourth rounds. But then there was the final tally of the bonus rounds and the weight of money donated (a point per kilo of coins is added to the total score and our team had each brought $5 of pennies).

The final score - 183.83 for the Key Limes - our nearest competitor was 183.36 and the third place team (who had come second during the last event and had called loudest for a rematch) had a score of 181.47. We had pulled it out in the final stages! Yes - there were claims we had bought the victory for a what would amount to an extra $2 in pennies but a win is a win is a win.

And were we gracious in this win? Not on your life - we maintained our obnoxious ways. We challenging the intelligence of teams who were too cheap to throw in an extra few coins at the beginning of the match. We verbally assaulted those teams who had brought in ringers from the outside in favour of their own children. We scoffed at the calls for a rematch in May.

Victory - especially an obnoxious one - is so very sweet!

What's That Sound?

2008-02-08T16:36:00.000-05:00

Today I was finally off to get my ultrasound done. For various reasons, one being my extreme discomfort of just the thought of having to undergo a scrotal ultrasound, the procedure had been delayed from January. Refer to my earlier blog WARNING - if you dare.

OK - the good news was that it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. In fact it was quite the pleasureable experience. Initially I was a bit hesitant about dropping my pants and hopping up on a table to expose my privates to a nice looking woman. In fact as I lay there quietly looking at the ceiling while counting the cracks in the tiles, I began wondering if this was what it was like for a woman who was having really poor sex with someone they didn't like. Looking at the ceiling trying to ignore what was going on only a few feet away.

Anyway - after splooching on some warm gooey stuff, the technician began her survey of my parts. I found the chirping of the machine and the sound of my heartbeat (for some reason she had the sound on) to be quite relaxing. Truth be told I actually dozed off for a period - that is until she hit a tender spot and I came awake like I had been hit by lightning.

All in all - I think I would do it again. After all, where else can you get the government to foot the bill for an activity that would cost more than $100 in a seedy office at the back of a run down strip-mall - not that I would know first hand!

Snow Days ! ! !

2008-02-07T21:15:00.000-05:00

You gotta love this Global Warming thing. The much desired and sought after double snow day was achieved today. Two days in a row and I am bored - it is hard for me to admit this but I am actually looking forward to getting back to school tomorrow.

On the bright side - I was able to spend a few hours playing Warcraft and managed to get my character to Outland. A very strange place.

A Sad Day

2008-01-20T20:23:00.001-05:00

I just heard through the internet that Suzanne Pleshette died today. I fell in love with this woman through her character, Emily, whom she used to play on the original Bob Newhart show - the one where Bob Newhart was a psychologist in Chicago. The Bob Newhart show was one of my favourites ' back in the day '.

Suzanne had an amazingly throaty, sexy voice. Probably the most sexy voice I've ever heard. Though she appeared on quite a few TV shows, the only movie I recall that she started in was Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". She was very young in that movie and her throaty, sexy voice was not yet at its prime.

I shall miss her.

The Technology of War, Sex and Toys

2008-01-19T21:01:00.000-05:00

This blog could have been titled, "It isn't easy teaching grade 10 history".

If we look at WWI and WWII we can see that during both these wars technology took a tremendous leap forward. As an example, at the beginning of the WWI, pilots of aircraft were using pistols to shoot at people on the ground. In a few short years, by the end of the war, pilots had machine guns mounted on planes that could reliably shoot through the plane's propeller. The same war saw the development of the tank, use of radar, mustard gas, wireless communication, more sophisticated internal combustion engines - a wide variety of newly developed technology which we still find in use today.

The second world war saw the same kind of technological leap, the atomic bomb being the most notable example. From this technology came nuclear power and the development of a wide variety of non-lethal outcomes including the treatment of cancers by radiation therapy. In broad technological terms, war has been good for our society.

But what about the times in between wars. What drives technology? Following WWII technology was driven by man's desire for sex. He came home after a long day at the office and wanted a little quality time with the wife but was stymied by the Too Tired Tonight or TTT syndrome. After all, the poor little woman had to beat the carpets, broom the floors, wash dishes by hand, chop and blend food using antiquated forks and knives, as well as drag laundry across a washboard and hang it on a line to dry. Who wouldn't be tired?

Ahhh - so how did man respond? He invented the vacuum cleaner, the washing machine and dryer, the dish washing machine, as well as the food processor and blender - countless improvements designed to make the little woman's life easier. Man's motives were clear - he was trying to rid the little woman (or more accurately - himself) of the dreaded TTT syndrome. (I discussed this particular issue in length in a blog entitled Pink vs Blue two years ago - 2 YEARS AGO - WOW have I really been doing this for 2 years?!!). If you examine all of the technological developments developed after WWII to the early 70's, more than 80% of them were designed to rid the world (namely man) of the TTT syndrome.

As discussed in my earlier blog - the ultimate outcome was that we kept developing and improving our products to the point where women no longer needed us and were capable of using the technology without our input. We made the technology too easy to use, too numerous in it's scope. Worst of all, we didn't rid the world of the TTT syndrome since women were now too tired of doing the work that was once in our exclusive domain. In fact, for a brief dark time in the history of man, we often found ourselves doing female or 'pink jobs.

But men are smart. We ultimately get what we want. What drives technology now? Our need for better toys of course. Having spent our best years developing better technology for women (and getting nowhere with respect to the TTT syndrome) we have turned our attention inward. We are now developing better toys for our own use - to help us make better make use of the time on our hands (there is a double entendre here somewhere) afforded us by the TTT syndrome. Big Screen TV's, 7.1 sound systems, bigger & faster computers for playing Warcraft, portable GPS systems to use with our canoe following a divorce, ATV's, bigger and better boats - TOYS for MEN!

Where will it all end, you ask? I've been thinking about that and as history tells us - it must end full circle. The Japanese (who else) have just announced the development of a robotic woman. The ultimate in a man's toy! I know what you are thinking - a robotic woman is just an elaborate 'blow-up' doll. A mere toy not to be confused with a real woman.

For enlightenment may I suggest that you read David Levy's new book, Sex and Love with Robots. In his book, Mr. Levy claims that, in the not too distance future, it is highly likely that most of our intimate relationships will be with robots. As Stephen Cobert noted during his interview with Mr. Levy - Once you go Bot, you never go back.

So we come full circle - our technological prowess will result in the winning combination of War, Sex & Toys. Imagine you and a friend getting together on a Saturday night to watch your respective robotic females stage a cat fight for your benefit. Of course they would be appropriately dressed in sexy lingerie. Talk about having your cake and eating it too!

The Perfect Wife

2008-01-17T17:05:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous, gave me the gift of a perfect wife for Christmas. As you can see from the picture below, this wife is advertised with the following features - (note the typical wife stance and facial expression);

• She never bothers you during the game
• She keeps her opinions to herself
• She doesn't have any baggage
• She doesn't talk at all
• She never has a headache

So far she does sound perfect. Unfortunately she is not perfect. The deal breaker is the feature advertised in small print near the top corner of the package. She will grow to 600% of her original size - sorry - been there, done that!

Freedom !

2008-01-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

Bob is finally back in his apartment enjoying the good life. Today I awoke at noon and spent most of the day watching football. I also did a little bit of cleaning - ok I pushed the button to start my robotic vacuum and watched it do the cleaning.

Did I mention I love my life!

Three Sleeps to go

2008-01-08T23:09:00.000-05:00

OK - The vacation that never ends is hopefully coming to a close as this family finally returns home from Florida. What originally was to be an 8 day stint at dog sitting has turned out to what will be a 15 day sentence from hell. The latest word is that I am out of here this Friday - finally free from the dog pound.

The experience has taught me one thing - I love my freedom and lack of responsibility. Please God let me outta here.

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T09:31:00.001-05:00

The New Year should be off to a great start as I was finally able to load Warcraft onto the computer here at the dog mansion. Oh - I guess I haven't mentioned that I am house/dog sitting for one of the families at the school while they are in Florida. Yes, while they are in the sunny south I am here in the midst of another snowstorm.

The increase in responsibility of caring for something other than a plastic houseplant is killing me. The stupid dogs actually expect me to get up at 8 in the morning to let them out - what's up with that. In truth they don't expect me to get up - they get me up by dropping large bones on the wooden floors. Every morning I am now woken by the sound of what seems to be gunfire at 8 am. Never one for maturity, I get my revenge late at night (the dogs seem to want to go to bed at 9pm) by making them go out for a pee every hour on the hour past 10pm.

In truth, taking care of the dogs (I recognize it isn't really a huge responsibility as far as responsibilities go)has reaffirmed my chosen life style. I am now more appreciative of the freedom I have (or rather, will have again in a few days). The ability to leave ones house or apartment with the freedom to do anything you want without the constraints of 'returning home on time' is something I had taken for granted over the past few years. Well - no more. It has been fun but I will be glad when it is over.

The dogs, who are rather cute in their own way, are pictured below. I have renamed them for the week. They are Wisconsin, Princess, and Bluto.

Cleaning up before the New Year

2007-12-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

I hope that everyone had a great Christmas. Just a few items I need to attend to before moving on to my next post.

First - on the second last day of school we had invited the grads to come for a Christmas lunch. About ten grads from across the years attended and I must say it was nice to see some old faces. And I do mean old since they are all older than I remember when they graduated. It was nice to see most of last years grads attend.

The second item - which actually took place on the same day but was celebrated the day after - was my birthday. Apparently I am also getting older. One birthday gift in particular stands out from the others. I received a $200 bottle of scotch. No - not the expensive scotch but rather a $200 bottle much more suited to my tastes. In the photo below, as a comparison, both bottles cost about $200. Which one would you prefer?

Merry Christmas

2007-12-23T23:13:00.000-05:00

HBB is off to visit his mom for Christmas. Just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas before I go.

Warning !!!

2007-12-18T15:45:00.000-05:00

I warn all readers - you may read the following blog - but - once read, you can't unread it. Proceed at your own risk.

So Monday was the snow day and the weather was brutal but I had to venture out. I had a doctors appointment.

You see, several weeks ago while doing an extra thorough job of cleaning I noticed a growth - a rather large growth - in fact a growth the size of a small walnut on the end of my left testicle. At the time I thought, "hmmm - any growth in that region can't be good". In fact I was so worried I even got up the nerve to Google "Testicular Cancer". I must warn you now - never - I repeat, never Google "Testicular Cancer".

In fact, ever since that day 2 weeks ago, I have been living with the idea that I must have the big C. I have mentally explored all of my options from the good - living the rest of my life only half-nuts (most people who know me will readily acknowledge that up until now I am a full nut) to the bad - take up cycling and enter the Tour de France or throwing myself off of a cliff. I haven't decided which of the two options is worse.

As you can imagine I entered the doctor's office with some degree of fear. As he was in the process of giving me a lecture about my weight, my blood pressure, my cholesterol levels, etc., I interrupted him to explain my predicament. In fact I told him that those other items were of little concern to me since I had (what I thought) was a cancerous growth on my testicle.

Up on the table I went, unders went down and he started to examine my right testicle, muttering, "yes there seems to be a small growth here". I pointed out to him that the growth I had discovered was on the left testicle and he switched over. After a bit of painful probing he finally declared, "well there is some definite swelling but I'm not too worried".

Not too worried!!!!! Some obvious responses popped into my head ranging from, "of course you're not worried, you don't have a cancerous growth the size of a football growing on your nuts", to "if the growth was on my big toe I wouldn't be worried either since I could just cut it off but these are my nuts we're talking about".

What I did respond with was, "Oh - why?". To which he responded with a number of suggestions as to what it could be and that these were far more likely than cancer. One of those suggestions was simply an infection and he provided me with a prescription, which I am now taking, until I can get in to have an ultrasound done. That should be fun - I'm really looking forward to having someone smear goop all over my nuts and then running a sensor around my sack while I look on. I only hope I don't see a heartbeat!

Remember - I warned you!

Snow and More Snow

2007-12-17T17:07:00.000-05:00

Another snow day! I think this is our fifth this year. Damn global warming!

OK - so about a month ago when most people in Ontario were getting their snow tires installed, HouseboatBob (HBB) was (as he is want to do) going on and on about how snow tires in Southern Ontario were not needed. In fact HouseboatBob goes one step further and suggests that he has no need to change his summer tires in favour of (at least) all season radials.

God must have been listening that day. In fact I suspect he plotted with Mother Nature to teach HBB a lesson. After shovelling for almost 10 minutes this afternoon I almost gave in to God, Mother Nature and their cruel joke on HBB. But I didn't and I got my car out onto the road and I was off to the store to buy food to eat. Sure it took some shovelling (which I haven't done in at least 10 years) but I'm not ready to give up the contest yet. My stomach is full and I'll shall shovel to fight another day.

Come on Mother Nature! Is that the best you have? Let It Snow - Let It Snow!!

WoW Update

2007-12-04T09:54:00.000-05:00

Given a snow day one would expect that I would be playing Warcraft - not so. They are down for their weekly maintenance - you would think that they would coordinate with Canadians better than that.

However, I must update my Warcraft progress since I did make level 60 on my second character this past weekend. Now the fun begins - it doesn't look easy to level at this point. Since I might get bored while waiting to level my higher characters, yesterday I started two new characters.

Ok - that's all for now since anymore rambling about Warcraft might cause some to think I am ready for an intervention. Off to do marking which was my other choice for today.

The Double

2007-12-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

The much anticipated but rarely experienced 'Double' occurred today. Yep, for the second day in a row, a snow day was called. I can't honestly remember when a 'Double' last occurred - I'm thinking it has been at least 6 years since the last one.

Random Thought #1: I'm glad they renamed the problem from Global Warming to Global Climate Change. If they hadn't every Canadian on the way to work would be spitting out the phrase, "Global Warming My Ass".

Random Thought #2: For the past several weeks I've been making fun of people who think that the winter season means that they must have snow tires on their car. I've been saying that snow tires are not needed in Southern Ontario and that my summer tires will do me just fine. Today I'm thinking that is only true if you are a teacher and can rely upon snow days when there is a snowfall.

Random Thought #3: Catch up on my marking OR Warcraft?

A picture of my parking lot, and that may be my car, from my window. I haven't been outside for 2 days and it doesn't look good for today. Since my cupboards are bare I'm thinking pizza delivery for lunch.

Eco-Footprint my Ass! What about your Ass-Footprint?

2007-12-01T14:54:00.002-05:00

Today I went shopping at the local grocery store for a few supplies. As it is the beginning of the holiday season I knew it was going to be busy. I knew the checkouts would be long and the parking supply short. I knew that, to get through the ordeal, extreme patience on my part would be required .

Indeed I was patient as I walked around snot-nosed crying children, women with shopping lists the size of a small novels in their hands complete with a determined ‘get the hell out of my way’ grimace affixed to their face. Their pussy whipped counterparts trailing behind them firmly grasping the handle of their shopping cart trying hard not to get caught staring at the occasional good looking female striding past them with a vapour trail of exotic perfume following behind. You could almost see these poor lost souls mentally comparing the physical attributes of their spouse with those of the sexy, young women breezing past. I could feel their pain. God how I love the holidays and that look on the faces of married men. The “how did I arrive here in my life?” look.

As I tried to exit the store I encountered a traffic jam. A man had stopped his cart in the ‘exit’ hallway to load up a package of water bottles. Why we feel the need to buy water in plastic bottles is beyond me but that is another blog. As this man tried to lift the package of water bottles into his cart the plastic shrink wrap surrounding the bottles slipped off the top and the bottles started to tumble out. At this point he had no choice but to pick up the bottles that had tumbled out, push them to one side and attempt to load another case of water.

Now I don’t blame this man for interfering with my exit from the store. Firstly, under normal circumstances, there should have been sufficient room to go around him and secondly, he had no choice as to where the water bottles were stored. He had to stop his cart in the exit hallway. Additionally, it was likely he was only at the store collecting water because his wife had made him go to the grocery store. A single man likely would only purchase water one bottle at a time and then only from the local gas station or convenience store. I felt his pain.

What I don’t understand is the endless supply of fat, self indulgent women in this world. Standing right next to this man were three women who had stopped to have a little chat about their ‘friend’ Sally who recently had a baby and had apparently not yet lost the weight. Though I do not know Sally, I none-the-less felt compelled to call her and inform her that these three fat bitches seemed to be experts in finding and storing lost weight if she, Sally, were to ever lose her weight and needed it back.

What is it with fat people - are they not aware of the relationship between circumference and diameter? Are they not aware of their ass footprint size? As an example, if you have a waistline of 50 inches ( and I’m being kind to these women) it is easy to calculate that the area of your ass-fat footprint is over to 200 square inches with a “block the lane” profile of almost 16 inches - that’s almost 1.5 feet!. In reality the effect is even more exaggerated since their stomachs tend to stick out in the opposite direction of their ass. It is known in the scientific community as the DAFI or ‘Doubling of the Ass Fat Impact’. Put the combination of three fat asses along with two shopping carts in the store exit lane and you have the beginnings of a human traffic plug somewhat akin to inserting a wad of hair into your sink drains. Nothing can get through.

Did these women recognize that they were blocking people? Did they not clue in to the numbers of people starting to line up in front of them as well as the line on the other side queuing up to enter the store? Did they think that we had gathered about them to hear about Sally and her weight problems? Did they not recognize that the combination of their three fat asses was effectively blocking the entire lane of traffic trying to exit and enter the store. Apparently not.

Apparently fat assed women don’t have a sense of humour either. I received a very nasty and bitter stare from all three when I suggested to the one lady nearest me that she should move to the left a bit so that she could BLOCK EVERYTHING INCLUDING LIGHT FROM ENTERING THE STORE!!

I don’t know - I thought it was a funny line. But then again - perhaps that is why I remain single .... and happy.

A Great Week

2007-11-25T19:28:00.000-05:00

Well Boys and girls - it was a great week for Houseboat Bob.

First - a snow day on Thursday!

Second - it was the annual Christmas Party for the school and I don't think I said anything to a parent which I will regret come Monday.

Third - I finally finished the Haliburton DVD. Another monkey off my back.

Time now to watch Football.

Kingston & Back

2007-11-19T18:45:00.000-05:00

Was off to Kingston this past weekend to take in Beowulf with three of my English Literature students from years gone by. It's a long story (and I don't mean Beowulf although that is long as well) but these three ladies were in my class when we studied Beowulf and went to see the cinematic version that was released 2 years ago. The movie, by the way, was terrible (I think it was Canadian).

I'm not sure when we made the pact but we agreed that we would get together whenever the new version was released - which was this past weekend. Off to Kingston to fulfill the pact since two of them are attending Queens University. I collected the third on the way. Had a great time seeing them but the weekend left me with mixed emotions. It is hard watching people whom you were close to grow and move on in their lives knowing that you will never have the closeness nor impact with them that you once had. They are all becoming adults in their own way.

In short I see them as three beautiful flowers - one which is currently shaking in fear (because of Calculus), one is blossoming and the third is withering away. On one hand they really haven't changed but on the other you can see the process of change is upon them. I guess I have to learn to let go - but that doesn't make the process any easier.

I hope that another version of Beowulf comes out in the next few years so that I can make them come out with me again.

Virtual vs Reality

2007-11-11T13:07:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine recently passed along a request wondering if I would like to write an article about the dangers to our society of kids spending so much time playing virtual reality games. The following was my response.

Dear XXX

When I read the request, my first thought was that I could write an article on the benefits of playing/living in a virtual world. I find that most people I interact with in the virtual world are helpful and considerate - why - because the operators of the game closely monitor game play and will boot those people who are chronically a 'pain-in-the-butt'. I often wonder what our 'real' society would be like if we had enough police to constantly monitor the behaviour of people in our 'real' society and had the right to 'boot' them from our society if they deem them to be annoying. By 'boot' I don't mean giving them a suspended sentence and letting them back into game play after 2 months - I mean permanently 'booting' them.

Case in point - I have a assigned a key on my keyboard with the phrase 'Must my fantasy world be filled with idiots as well'. By simply pushing one key that phrase will immediately 'pop-up' on my screen. I have only used the key twice in the past year. If I had a similar 'pop-up' phrase for my real world I would use it three to four times a day - and that is just while driving to and from work.

Another feature of the virtual world is the ability to 'block' a person from ever interacting with you. Again - how lovely would that feature be in the real world. Imagine never again having to deal with that idiot boss, that old boyfriend or girlfriend, the idiot who cut you off in traffic.

As to the mind set of the youth today with respect to body image, etc., I have known several 'Barbie' types during my years on this planet and they all, as well as the non-Barbie types, suffer from poor body image. Where this originates from I'm not sure but I do know it was in existence long before the advent of computer generated virtual worlds. Besides, boys and girls have been playing in virtual worlds for as long as I can recall. When I was 12 years old playing 'Cowboys and Indians', in my mind I was a hero and I was killing the Indians. Computers only allow me to play a 'better - more realistic' game. It is no different then when I was finally given a plastic gun at Christmas instead of using my tired and worn out finger as a gun.

Is playing a game in a virtual world really any different then spending hours and hours, mainly by yourself, working on a jig-saw puzzle? Is it really any different, with respect to the social implications, than reading a good fictional book? Imagine playing in a virtual world, interacting with others, without having the negative stereotypes associated with weight, wearing glasses, pimples, etc., getting in the way of communicating with that person.

Yes, there are negative aspects to the virtual world but in some cases people seek the virtual world because it is a world much closer to what God promised. Instead of dealing with the frustrations to trying change the 'so-called' real world - which is filled with a wide variety of idiots not worthy of our efforts - we have chosen to enjoy our down time. Perhaps it is akin to creating a new world as opposed to trying to fix the old one. I'm not sure that ignoring reality in favour of building a nice place to play is a bad thing.

You are correct - it would be a challenge for me to write an article supporting the evils of computer games. Unfortunately I am unwilling to devote the time since I have to deal with the real world frustrations of marking tests, teaching students subjects that they have no interest in learning, and generally dealing with parents who think their off-spring are the sweetest, smartest, kindest kid to hit the face of this earth since the sweet baby Jesus went to school. After all - it does cost money to play in a virtual world and I need the paycheque.

Part 'A' Accomplished

2007-11-10T21:35:00.001-05:00

Well the first part of my two part goal was completed today as I got my main character to level 60. This is about 3 weeks earlier than I had originally set as my goal. It takes about 200,000 points to gain a level which equates to about 20 plus hours if all goes well. I got a nasty surprise though at level 60 - it now takes 500,000 points to level! I can see why people take an entire year to get from level 60 to level 70.

The second part of my goal is to get my second character to level 60. Currently I am at level 57 so this should be obtainable by early December - if all goes well.

On Friday a much depleted cartel met at Wild Wings. An old favourite, Tanya, was back behind the bar - she is redoing her kitchen and needs the money! After dinner we went to see the movie Lions for Lambs. It sucked!

Quick Update Before Bed

2007-11-07T21:42:00.001-05:00

I don't know why it is so hard to keep up with my blog - maybe because I have a busy life? You decide!

Last Friday there was a 'social' night at the school. A quiz competition of sorts. A number of parents showed up trying to claim top honours but in the end it was Team Key Lime (my team) that won the night. We killed! So much so that a number of other teams have already requested a rematch. (The pic is of our new mascot - in a key lime coloured bikini.)

The weekend consisted of sleep, WoW, and Football - pretty much in that order. I did manage to sleep in until 1 pm both days so that was good. My characters are now at levels 57 & 59 so that is good and on schedule. The football was a bit of a disappointment though as I dropped 3 points in the pool I'm in. 2 out of 3 ain't bad - I guess.

Today the school was off to the symphony (boring) and then a few of us went to Much on Demand - a teenage video show broadcast live from Toronto. I wasn't actually on the show as the 'old' people had to sit in the background but it was interesting none-the-less.

Now - off to bed as I have weekly reports tomorrow and then Friday my busy social life begins again. Phew!

Too Funny

2007-10-29T23:53:00.001-04:00

Click on the picture to watch this mini-video. Guys!

Week#9

2007-10-29T23:38:00.000-04:00

It is Monday - and the start of school week #9. By the time Friday arrives we will be 25% of the way through the school year. It goes fast from here on in!

Tonight I spent a few seconds (would you believe minutes?) (would you believe hours?) (old Get Smart routine) working on my #2 WoW character. My goal is to get to level 57 this coming weekend. As you can see, she is working hard in the jungle.

After that I am back to my #1 character who is part way through level 58. The goal would be to get her to level 60 by the end of November. I find that in life, as in the fantasy world, it is important to set goals. As you can see, #1 character likes to fly with maximum freedom.

Sunday Update

2007-10-28T20:29:00.000-04:00

Bob's life this weekend was pretty boring but I did manage to accomplish a number of outstanding tasks.

Got an oil change for my car - long overdue!

Bought new shirts and a new tie - love the leather!

Finally - managed to get my weaker Warcraft character to lvl 56. My goal is to get both to lvl 60 by Christmas.

And then there was Halloween

2007-10-26T20:24:00.000-04:00

The next major school event in tired Bob's life was the school Halloween party. Once again there was the much anticipated donut eating contest which the boys at the school look forward to with much anticipation.

Mole Day

2007-10-23T20:21:00.000-04:00

As always, October 23rd is the day King's science students take the time to honour International Mole Day. This year the science students were quite ferocious in their attacks on the student body.

Home Sweet Home

2007-10-20T14:23:00.001-04:00

After three nights of house-sitting, I get to sleep in my own bed tonight. On the upside this means no dogs to wake me up at 5 am, but on the downside I'm back to my 30 television channels as opposed to 500 via satellite.

Last night the full membership of the cartel plus an honourary guest met for wings and beer. The guest was the daughter of Mr. B and the curse of the B's followed her to the movies with us. Whenever Mr. B. joins the cartel we wind up at a really bad movie. Last night was no exception as we watched Michael Clayton, perhaps the most boring movie I have ever watched.

Anyway - as I said - I am home now and after catching up on the missed episode of survivor (because of parent / teacher interviews), and running a few errands, I am off to either work on the DVD or play WoW. Ahhhh - I love my little world.

Busy Week Coming

2007-10-15T20:10:00.000-04:00

A quick update post today as I am busy busy this week.

Tonight I must finish the report cards and then tomorrow I have to run the weekly reports - kind of weird to double report this week but hey - I don't make the rules.

Wednesday I am off to house-sit one of my students as her parents are off for the rest of the week - thus I'll not be home until Friday or Saturday. That means I must get the dishes done tonight or else I will have an apartment of mold by the time I return.

Oh yes - and parent / teacher interviews on Thursday to add to my frustration - I'll have to remember to tape Survivor.

I am off now to add a few more minutes to the Haliburton DVD (up to 10 minutes now) and then do dishes - yikes - maybe laundry as well! I need a maid!

Can Life Get Any Worse

2007-10-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

Ok - so things are not all bad. Having finished the Haliburton Audio CD a few weeks ago in time for Haliburton - I now am invested in the creation of the Haliburton DVD. It's an even slower process than the CD since I have to sort through some 700 pictures and somehow create a 30 minute movie. I am well on the way having finished a whopping 4 min and 33 seconds after 5 days effort. I'm too anal retentive for my own good when it comes to this sort of thing. I include a sneak preview to whet your appetite.

How is my life getting worse you ask - tomorrow - Stratford - Merchant of Venice - nuf said.

Where is Bob?

2007-10-02T19:34:00.000-04:00

I have lived my life in a consistent manner. I treat my body much the same as I treat my car, when something breaks - then and only then do I worry about fixing it. Preventative medicine is not part of my thought process. I figure, if it ain't broke - why bother spending time and money on it. This is why I should never have gone to the doctor back in August.

Yesterday was my follow-up visit. It seems that the high blood pressure pills I've been taking were not strong enough so now I have double the dosage - at twice the cost. Also, surprise, surprise, the doc discovered I had high cholesterol levels - more pills at an unbelievable price. Apparently I also have to lose weight, give up the occasional cigar, include an aspirin in my daily diet - as well as exercise three times a week, and let's see - oh yeah - eat more veggies and fruit and cut down on the alcohol.

Hello - is Bob in there anymore?

I've thought long and hard about the ramifications of what the doctor said and I finally have come to the realization that I have to make changes in my lifestyle - only because I can't afford to pay for the pills to keep me alive over the next few years.

Maybe I should have gotten that oil change back in '86!

Finally Rested

2007-09-30T12:40:00.000-04:00

Here it is Sunday morning and I finally have enough energy to attend to my blog after a week in Haliburton. It seems that the week in Haliburton takes more and more of a toll on me every year. Age?

Anyway, it was a great week although very different this year since there were no graduates and therefore no emotional turmoil of this being 'the last year'.

It was also very different because for the first time ever, one of our graduates was able to spend a few days with us. Miss Tanner arrived Wednesday late morning and although she intended to stay only the one night, we were able to convince her to stay until Friday. It was great to see a graduate return.

LED (of cartel fame) was able to complete her goal of canoeing around the lake and as can be seen from some of the pictures, the students were quite inventive, if not down right sketchy, on their boat design this year.

Following the return from Haliburton on Friday, I was to bed early as I was up again at 7 am to attend an Irish dance competition in which one of my students was a participant. Miss D. won two firsts, and was in the top three in the other events. I must say - if you love girls in curls - this is the place to go.

Despite My Best Intentions

2007-09-17T19:14:00.000-04:00

I did remember my promise to update my blog more often but was just too damn tired and busy to get to it last week. Last night, for one hour, was the first time I have had a free minute to play Warcraft in the past month. Hopefully with Haliburton around the corner I will have more time this week.

On Friday a much diminished cartel met for wings and beer. The only attendees were Mrs. C and myself. Afterwards we went to see '3:10 to Yuma'. I must say that this was the best movie I have seen in a long time. A movie with action but more importantly a movie with an incredibly strong message. Most excellent.

Let's see - spent Saturday with a student doing math - oh yeah - also spent part of Sunday doing same with another student. Despite this I am still ahead on the NFL pool that I am involved with and managed to get all my school work done including preparing for this week's weekly reports. As I stated - I even had an hour left over for warcraft.

Now it is time to get back to work - must finish the Haliburton script tonight so that Baboo has time to practice.

The Pressure to Blog

2007-09-11T18:35:00.000-04:00

I honestly try to update my blog daily but the 'back to school' grind means I barely have enough energy to drag my ass through the door of my apartment let alone blog. When I do get the motivation to turn on the computer, I am overwhelmed by the outstanding work to be done - for the school. This year has been no different, maybe worse.

I have had contact with several of last years grads and it looks like they are settling in nicely - the real truth will come at the mid-terms. For those grads who are interested - the school year is pretty much the same as always. Long, long (much too long) speeches by Mr. E every day he is in punctuated by his coming into my class to continue on some tirade or another. What with my own personal tirades, the kids have barely any time to do 'real' work. Same old, same old on that front.

We have two new teachers this year. The real joy I get is watching the teachers try to adapt to our unique school At times the new teachers remind me of deer caught in headlights.

Speaking of deer in headlights - Haliburton is just around the corner - one week earlier this year. Less than two weeks away and soooo much to do to get the CD ready. Poor Baboo isn't prepared at all.

All I can say (sorry - alls I can say) is that I'll try harder to update my blog frequently but with a new kid joining today - well the work load for tonight just increased that much more.

Summer Vacation - It's Over

2007-09-06T21:26:00.000-04:00

Well summer is over for sure. 3 days into school and my feet and legs are killing me. I'm used to spending the majority of my time on my ass rather than this standing stuff I now have to do.

This week I've been so tired I'm usually in bed by 10 pm every night. Tonight though - what the heck - one more day to go and I'm staying up late to watch the start of the NFL season.

Did I mention that Janelle made a guest appearance on BB this week. My only highlight.

My low point - we have this new girl at school and her family are close friends with David Suzuki. For any American readers, David Suzuki is our Al Gore when it comes to the environment - except - David does practice what he preaches and he is a scientist not a politician. For those of you who know me - Davis is my nemesis. Of course the new girl loves David and has even talked about inviting him to the school to be a guest speaker.

I think I can take him though - after all David is 71 years old - I mean - even with all that Karate stuff I should be able to drop him in a fair fight.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #80

2007-09-03T18:25:00.000-04:00

Day #80 - Monday. The last day of freedom - if busting your ass sitting in front of the computer doing school stuff is freedom.

Now the next countdown. The 180 days of School for Bob. Luckily those 180 days are broken up by 70 days of weekends and 35 days of holidays such as Christmas and March Break. When you think of it - I hardly work at all.

I feel better!

Good Luck to all my graduates of '07. I'll be thinking of you.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #79

2007-09-02T21:43:00.000-04:00

The second to last day and I spent it working on school curricula. Well I did laundry as well - at least that was exciting. Where did my summer go?

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #78

2007-09-01T21:28:00.000-04:00

Saturday and back to the school. Setting up my class and getting a few things organized. By the time I left I was sick of that place. Hope that feeling changes by Tuesday.

Flashdance Original Version

2007-09-01T12:00:00.001-04:00

Last night while at the theatre we noticed a young women wearing leg warmers. CdP and myself both commented on how leg warmers were sexy and hoped that they were making a comeback in the world of fashion. I guess the greatest influence would have been the movie Flashdance. This clip shows both of the best parts of that movie.

Leg Warmers

2007-09-01T11:55:00.001-04:00

The ultimate in sexy leg warmers.

Flash Dance - Commercial

2007-09-01T11:43:00.001-04:00

Along the same line but with a slight twist.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #77

2007-08-31T23:58:00.000-04:00

Today (Friday), I decided to take the day off and not go into the school. I slept until noon, putzed around for most of the afternoon and finally made my way to Wild Wings for our weekly cartel meeting. D is away on an Alaskan cruise so it was just the three of us.

Afterwards we went to see Death Sentence. It was by the author of Death Wish and pretty much was along the same lines as the old Charles Bronson movie.

We then had a protracted discussion in the parking lot about "Kids Today". To fully appreciate the sentiment of some of my cartel members, you have to say "Kids Today" as if you were an old Jewish guy trying to un-stick the words from the back of your phlegm filled throat. I could go on and on about the discussion we had, but I shall not. Basically I hate those two words "Kids Today". I heard that expression so many times when I was young that I now associate that expression with the old farts of my youth - old farts whose life had passed them by and whose bitterness prevented them from ever seeing the good in the youth around them. It makes me sad to hear that from my own friends - partly I assume because it reminds me that they, and by extension me, are getting older.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #76

2007-08-30T11:12:00.000-04:00

The 80 days of Bob are closing fast. Too fast!

Yet again I was back at the school - to finish the job I had started yesterday, Today though, the ending was different. I decided to change my objectives. Since I had two computers working and with the promise from one of the parents for a donation of more, I decided to throw the rest of the junk out once and for all. In total, 12 computers and monitors hit the roadside curb for collection. It was tough work slogging 50 pound monitors out to the curb but it was extremely gratifying. Good ridance to Bill Gates!

Building upon this feeling of elation, I went and collected my two graduates H and M and we went out for dinner and a movie. The dinner was great but we made the mistake of allowing M to choose the movie and wound up watching The Nanny Diaries. Bad decision!

Both of these girls, as well as the rest of the graduates I'm sure, will be moving into residence this coming long weekend. It is still hard for me to let them go - I see them as my own children and I worry about them and try to imagine the school without them. I can't. I wouldn't be so bold as to say that I am more affected by their leaving than their parents - but it is close.

A funny story - H's mom was at the store recently buying food and when she picked up a container of cottage cheese she started crying - right there in the store. She had made the observation that her daughter would be moved out before the expiry date on the cottage cheese. As I said, I can't compete with the feelings of parents but I get a little misty eyed when I think of that first day of school with none of the graduates to help get me through those long speaches of Mr. E.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #75

2007-08-29T10:59:00.000-04:00

I brought it upon myself - I have no one to blame but me. I had volunteered for this task.

Day #75 of my so called vacation was spent once again at the school but this time in the frustrating pursuit of getting the computers up and working. After 9 long hours I had managed to get only two computers working and had finally figured out that it was impossible to get the remainder up to standard for a variety of reasons. I had also cursed Bill Gates about a thousand times in the process.

I left the school at 7pm for dinner at a nearby parent's house. At least there was a great ending to my day. Good food, good alcohol and great conversation.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #74

2007-08-28T18:12:00.000-04:00

Tuesday and another full day of meetings at the school. Again, another 1/2 day of vacation since I have no homework - well I do but have decided to put it off until the last minute.

Tomorrow looks like I will be back at the school. I had intended on going canoeing for a couple of days but with the foot the way it is and now that I am back in school mode I've decided to cancel. Maybe a weekend in September.

Tonight I think it will be couch and TV - Big Brother 8 naturally. It looks like this season may boil down to a Blond vs Blond competition.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #73 & 1/2

2007-08-27T18:50:00.000-04:00

I've decided that today can only count as a half day since I was at the school for meetings from 8am until 5pm when I finally got out of there. It counts as a half day though since I left without any homework to do so I have my night free to catch up on my warcraft.

For those who care, the foot is getting better.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #73

2007-08-26T21:10:00.000-04:00

Sunday - My Days are Numbered

OK - with a bum foot there was not much to do today but play Warcraft - and even that was troublesome since my foot ached after an hour of sitting in front of the computer.

Did I mention that I miss my houseboat - with a clear sky and near full moon shinning through my window tonight I am in a reflective mood (that and the Irish Whiskey medication I'm on). No more howling at the moon naked on the top deck while motoring down the lake. I owned that lake at night - I think I shall miss the nights on the lake most of all.

I added up the numbers (because I'm a math guy) and over 50% of the women I've had the pleasure to be intimate with were for the first time on the houseboat. Ahhhh - the wonderful memories of the old man and the sea.

My ruminations plus the fact that I have to go to the school tomorrow for meetings have put me in a space where I wish I wasn't.

Night All.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #72

2007-08-26T01:44:00.000-04:00

Saturday - The Day of Rest

Warning: THE GRAPHIC CONTENT OF THIS POST MAY OFFEND SOME, IT MAY CAUSE EXTREME REVULSION, REPULSION, AND REGURGITATION IN OTHERS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

After a snoot full of Irish whiskey last night I awoke with no pain in my foot. That is until I decided to move it. I hobbled out of bed, made coffee and decided that I needed to eat. The cupboards were empty which meant I had to go to shopping.

I never knew I had 21 steps to exit my building. 21 down, 21 up. Shopping was a long, painful process but I did manage with the aid of my collection of canes. I chose the snake for this occasion. Wanted to look cool for the babes.

Following lunch I decided to enter the realm of Warcraft but, at the suggestion of my friend D, relying upon the comfort of Janelle to ease the pain. Janelle was good to me - she was soft, she was sympathetic, and most importantly, she didn't nag me about going to the doctor to have my foot x-rayed (hint for LED).

After several hours of Warcraft, in which I kicked Horde butt hard core (figuratively not literally since my foot was sore), I decided to call it a night as the foot was a wee bit tender. I also decided to document the swelling - so that I can compare it to tomorrow to see if I should have it checked out.

I REPEAT: ------ Warning: THE GRAPHIC CONTENT OF THIS POST MAY OFFEND SOME, IT MAY CAUSE EXTREME REVULSION, REPULSION, AND REGURGITATION IN OTHERS. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Not Too Bad!

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #71

2007-08-25T11:55:00.000-04:00

Friday - August 24th. An historic day!

Finally, after months of thwarted attempts, I was able to arrange the disposal of my houseboat. Again up at 7am, I was soon off to remove the last of my stuff from the boat before it was taken away to its final resting place - the big lake in the sky.

It was a morning of reflections - I have had a lot of great times over the past 23 years on that boat and it surely will be missed. I include pictures of this historic occasion as well as one final trip down the river into the lake.

Following the loading of the boat, I was loading up my car with the last of the boat items I had removed and because I was tired, exhausted, hungry, and perhaps a wee bit sad, I was not concentrating on what I was doing and managed to severely twist my ankle. Down I went and within a few minutes my ankle was the size of an orange.

But - being the trooper I am, off I went to the weekly Cartel meeting followed by the movie Superbad. Although it was a good film I don't quite understand why it is rated so highly.

Following the movie I went home, drank scotch until my foot was numb and fell asleep with dreams of the past 23 years on the boat.

Memories of the river.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #70

2007-08-25T11:35:00.000-04:00

Thursday - The return to the real world.

My day began with my getting up at the unholy hour of 7 (am) for an 8 o'clock meeting with a parent at the school. It's all coming back to me - the reason I am a teacher - prolonged summer vacations!

Following the meeting I went home for a wee power nap and then off to meet a recent graduate for dinner. It is nice to have the chance to say goodbye properly to each of the graduates. I am very hopeful for this graduating class. Good luck Miss Di G!

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #69

2007-08-25T11:31:00.000-04:00

Wednesday - August 22

My final day of exclusive Warcraft playing. I have a meeting at the school tomorrow so I must prepare for the intrusion of the real world. I leave you with my last screen shot of the game.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #68

2007-08-25T11:24:00.001-04:00

Tuesday - August 21

One Word - Warcraft!

Ok - I have to add that playing Warcraft on my newer, faster PC is amazing. The 5.1 Dolby sound system coupled with the amazing increase in graphics capabitlities allows me to truly enter the fantasy world to the exclusion of all else. It helps keep my mind off the fact that school begins in 2 weeks.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #67

2007-08-25T11:04:00.000-04:00

Monday - August 20

One Word - Warcraft!

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Days #63 to #66

2007-08-19T11:27:00.000-04:00

It happened again this year. I was not prepared for it! The past few days have been hell!

As I write this blog entry Sunday morning, I now fully understand, more accurately appreciate, the full extent of the disease that once again affected me over these past few days. What I can't believe is that I never put two and two together before this year. It all started innocently enough, as it always does now that I reflect back on the past several years.

I was in Newmarket Wednesday with time to spare before going to the movie when I decided to browse in one of those big box electronic stores. That was it, just a quick walk through. A simple enough action. I thought nothing more of it and 20 minutes later left to watch the movie. I failed to recognize the early warning signs.

It started in earnest Thursday morning when I awoke with an incredible urge to buy something - something electronic - something for myself. Something to make me feel better. Off I went and within an hour I was lugging a 22 inch widescreen monitor up the stairs to my apartment. I was happy. I was in trouble. I hadn't yet recognised the disease that was upon me.

I installed the monitor - which amounted to nothing more than plugging it in (because I own a Mac), and I was off to play Warcraft in a new 22 wide screen world. I didn't care that the old monitor and its cables hung limply from my desk where they had fallen when I disconnected it. I was happy - or so I thought.

When I finally crawled into bed, in the back of my mine, in some deep recess that only gets accessed once a year, the disease crawled forth and whispered - it is time to prepare the nest, Bob. It was only a whisper and I ignored it - I was after all still in a different world. The World of Warcraft. If only I had listened more closely. If only I wasn't so tired that night.

On Friday I awoke with the disease in full flight. The urge to re-arrange the furniture in my apartment was unbearable. My new Monitor called to me, begged me to rearrange my computer desk. It wanted the old monitor gone. It wanted to have its own pedestal.

I was beginning to recognize the signs. This had happened before - always in late August. The desire to rebuild the nest. Not simply to move a few pieces of furniture about but a massive undertaking involving changing the entire layout of my apartment. This would involve cleaning, throwing out furniture that didn't fit the new regime. Buying new items to replace those thrown out. The need to rebuild from the ground up. I had begun to recognize the disease but I was unable to stop it.

In previous years I have always rearranged my apartment in late August. Over the years I have purchased new computers, chairs (remember Janelle), beds, and even last year - a new car! Always in August! The disease must be genetic in nature. Perhaps a cancerous strand of mutated DNA that comes to the forefront once a year to cause harm to those men who do not have a female in their life. God's cruel trick on those of us who are happy for 11 months of the year.

In short I thought I could beat the disease by joining the Cartel Friday night but alas when I returned to my apartment I began to rearrange the furniture. The quiet calling of that morning had become a full out scream in my head by the time I had returned. The computer desk had to be moved. As did the bed, the bookcase, the couch, the television, everything!

As I went to bed Friday I thought the worst was over. Sure I had to get up early Saturday and finish the job of cleaning and rearranging minor items but the worst was over. The big pieces of furniture were in their proper place. I thought I finally understood the disease and had gotten through the worst of it. I was wrong.

Saturday I awoke in a slight stupor - perhaps alcohol was involved or perhaps it was the beginning of the full out assault of the disease on my senses. I awoke, had coffee while checking my email on my new MONITOR and to my horror I came to the conclusion that I needed to upgrade my computer. My new MONITOR called out to me - demanded that I get a new computer worthy of the new look apartment - worthy of ITSELF!

What follows next is hard for me to write. I am heartbroken. I am riddled with guilt. My actions on that day went against everything I believe in, everything I hold true. I am embarrassed, no - ashamed, that my moral fibre was tested that day and I failed. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.

By noon on Saturday I was trudging up my apartment building stairs with a new computer in my hands. My shoulders were stooped in shame as I entered my apartment and began to unpack my new HP PC complete with Windows Vista.

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As I tell this tale Sunday morning I know I have lived through the disease for this year. The new HP computer is not yet fully up and running. It took 3 hours yesterday to try and get the new MONITOR working and after having downloaded countless drivers ( a new experience for a Mac user) the PC fails to recognize the wide screen format of the new MONITOR. It took another 6 hours to get Warcraft installed (it was 30 minutes with the Mac). Several hours later and several driver downloads later, I was finally able to get sound through speakers attached to the new PC.

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Though I am ashamed, I come out of this experience with a new found understanding of the disease and of the world. First, I know that next year I am going to plan to be away for the latter part of August. I also have a better appreciation for the frustrations of PC users though I fail to understand why anyone with half a brain would choose to use a PC as opposed to a Mac. Yes I am one of those mindless idiots who have a PC but as I write this blog I am using, and will always use, my Mac. The voices emanating from my new MONITOR have taken on a form of contentment as it recognises that it is more complete with the Mac than with the PC.

Perhaps I shall keep the PC, perhaps not. If I do, it shall be used exclusively for Warcraft. I must admit Warcraft plays better on the PC.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #62

2007-08-15T20:54:00.000-04:00

Wednesday

I awoke starving as I had been fasting for my blood work. With no coffee nor nicorette gum in my system I had to undertake a 40 minute drive to the lab. It wasn't pretty - luckily the wait was minimal and by 11 am I was driving away from Tim's with a coffee in my hand and a cigar firmly planted in my mouth - Heaven!

Next stop - Newmarket for a movie - The Transformers. I had to see it before it fell out of the theatres. Although a 'kid' movie it was pretty darn good. It was especially nice since I was one of only three people in the theatre. Once again - Heaven!

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #61

2007-08-14T17:43:00.000-04:00

Tuesday - a day of dread - off to see my doctor. It has been 4 years since my last visit.

It was to be a simple visit - all he had to do was to give me a prescription for high blood pressure. Instead I got a lecture on my lifestyle, pressured to wear a 24 hour blood pressure monitor (which I ultimately refused), another lecture on how Canadians believe health care is free - it's not - apparently you have to work on your health, you can't just take pills to make you better.

I left with the pills but I now have to get blood work done tomorrow - fasting for 14 hours beforehand, and I have to see him again in 2 weeks and then again in 5 weeks. Damn right health care is not free - what a price to pay - two more days of my life.

I left the doctor feeling as if I were a student in one of my math classes. The lecture was more or less the same - your results are directly proportional to the effort you put in, blah, blah, blah. I now have a better appreciation for the misery I put my students through. Why can't there be a pill for math? Life would be so much simpler.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #60

2007-08-14T17:40:00.000-04:00

Monday - only twenty days left and work is slowly creeping into my daily routine. A lazy day of school work, shopping, and reading.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #59

2007-08-14T17:35:00.000-04:00

Sunday - a chance to catch up on the Coronation Street episodes I missed earlier in the week and get ready for a movie and dinner with my three graduates.

M, S, H, and I went to see Stardust and I must say it was an excellent fantasy movie (you can't go wrong with both Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert De Niro). Quite a change from my real life of Warcraft.

After the movie it was off to the Winchester Arms for dinner. Ahhhh - steak and kidney pie - it was the completion of my Coronation Street day. I'm going to miss those girls next year as they go off to university - - but we are planning a reunion dinner and movie when the newest version of Beowulf (you can't go wrong with Anthony Hopkins & Angelina Jolie) comes out in November - it's a long story!

Thank you for the wonderful memories, ladies. I hope that this was not our last dinner together.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #58

2007-08-14T17:25:00.001-04:00

Saturday - a day of rest and Warcraft. Had to get both characters above level 50 - it was my goal. We all need goals in our lives.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #57

2007-08-14T10:28:00.000-04:00

Friday - Cartel Night!

The full cartel met Friday for the first time in quite a while. A lot has happened over the summer and a lot of catching up was needed and appreciated. This weeks Salt & Pepper set came directly from Maine - coincidentally the cleavage did as well.

After a few beer, wings and other food stuffs, the cartel was off to the movies - Bourne Ultimatum. A good movie with a great fight scene - in my opinion anyway.

Following the movie there was a discussion in the parking lot about the need for stupidity in all of our lives. Generally speaking, people fall into one of three possible categories.

1. - The lucky ones, such as myself, who can rely solely on alcohol for our weekly dose of stupidity - this gives us a ready made excuse and the stupidity is controllable in time by when we drink and by degree in the amount of alcohol consumed.

2. - The unfortunate ones who do not drink and have no excuse for their actions and worst of all can not control when stupidity will strike. These people can not be trusted since they are so unpredictable in terms of when the stupidity will strike as well as the degree of stupidity. 'Dangerous they are,' whispers Yoda.

3. - The third group is often the worse and should actually be removed from our society. These being the people who continually exhibit stupidity with or without alcohol. Unfortunately these people are in the majority and it is unlikely we can get rid of them though they do a good job themselves in culling their numbers.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Days #55 & #56

2007-08-14T10:21:00.000-04:00

Tuesday & Wednesday, August 8 & 9

As I write this a week later, I don't actually remember what I did. Which in itself says something about how boring my summer has been. Maybe I should plan better next year.

I guess those two days could be summed up by three words - Laundry and Warcraft!

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Days #53 & #54

2007-08-10T10:45:00.000-04:00

Monday and up early for a swim in the ocean from our ocean side room. Can life get any better than a morning 'toe-in-the-water' experience.

Into the car, north from North Carolina into Virginia to cross Chesapeake Bay via the 24 mile long 'bridge-tunnel' system (yes since we were back in Virginia the cost to cross was $28). It is a unique experience to be driving on a bridge and then ducking under the water as an ocean going vessel is crossing above you.

The rest of Monday saw us journey through Maryland, Delaware, and finally into New Jersey for the night.

Tuesday was 11 hours of Interstate driving - beginning with a massive traffic jam caused by the closure of the Washington bridge as we attempted to by-pass New York City.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #52

2007-08-10T10:28:00.001-04:00

Sunday.

The motto of Virginia used to be (and still may be), Virginia is for Lovers. Based upon my experience - they should change their state motto to: Virginia is not for Drivers.

Although we were up early again, it took more than an hour to get gas, coffee and relocate the interstate to continue our journey. Virginia seems to excel in the concept of poor highway sineage, gas stations without gas, and excessive road tolls.

Despite the desires of Virginia to hold us captive for the remainder of the summer, we arrived early afternoon at the Outer Banks (OBX for the uninitiated) of North Carolina.

It was a spectacular day to enjoy the beaches, FREE ferries, and lighthouses of the OBX.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #51

2007-08-10T10:02:00.000-04:00

Saturday - yet again up early. The journey continues eastward through the hills & valleys of West Virginia. Though the going is slow the scenery is spectacular.

Finally, after hours of ear popping hills and tight knuckled driving, as the sun draws low in the sky and the road straightens, we enter Virginia.

Our destination for the night, the historic town of Colonial Williamsburg. We arrive late and tour the town on foot - much as our ancestors might have on a sweltering night in August.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #50

2007-08-10T09:48:00.000-04:00

Friday - up early and on the road. Southward bound - destination - unknown.

Eight hours of Interstate highways and we arrive in the mountainous hills of West Virginia. The land that time forgot.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #49

2007-08-10T09:13:00.000-04:00

Thursday, August 2nd.

Since I had to get an oil change, in advance of my mini-trip this coming weekend, I met with Dr. DC for lunch at our favourite wing joint. Dr. DC had just returned from the wilds of Northern Ontario where he once again attempted to reach Copper Island on the north shore of Lake Superior. For those of you who wish to recall last years efforts, I include the link for his 2006 failed attempt.

At this point I turn over the keyboard to Dr. DC.

Older Man and The Sea...Waxing Philosophical....An Odyssey!

Sing O' Superior...many a brave soul have ye sent hurrying down to Hades.

As the early dawn touched the sea with a golden light, a ship came gliding out of the mist, and sped her way o'er the broad-backed billows. No sail or mast had she; but the dipping of the paddle came floating on the still air of morning with a rhythmic cadence. Swift as a bird on the wing, she lightly cleft the curling waves in search of the reclusive Isle. The ship drove fast, and southward she fled.

Hearing a magic strain upon the water, the good craft drew near the Isle of Cats wherein the Sirens dwell.

Having spied me, the Sirens began to sing in sweet voices their bewitching song; nubile wenches tempting the ship to its ruin.
"I recognize thee for what thou art! Temptresses! Changelings! I was once married to one as you! Away with ye!", cried the seaman. In an instant the seductive Norse twins transformed into birds and flew away.

Onward and forward the craft glided until contrary winds thrashed the sea and stirred the fiend of doubt in the very heart of the ancient kayaker. "How badly do you want this? How badly?...", moaned the wind. Wave on wave washed o'er the deck and lashed the face of the mortal. Neptune drove the vessel back from whence it had come.

"I will not dine on regrets! 'Tis better to lose life as a spendthrift than waste it as a miser! 'Tis better to wear out than to rust out! 'Tis better to live and be done with it, than die daily in the grasp of the demon Microsoft! " screamed the mariner.

On high, the immortals, well pleased with these words, cried "Cease, rude Boreas! Else, pray, rein the tongue within his lips!". As commanded, the winds eased, and the bark flew swiftly onward, on even keel with gentle gale. Waves tossed up their silvery spray, while rocked in the cradle of the deep lay many a ship that never returned to port.

The day was well nigh done when the craft glided into safe harbour on the Isle of Copper. Sands dark as Chaos greeted the belly of the vessel. The man raised his eyes to Heaven and said, "What a day has dawned upon me, ye gods; yea a glad man am I today"

With throat parched, and hunger gnawing like maggots in a week-old carcass, the Jack o'Tar set camp and prepared a mess of most savoury victuals (Note: Dr. DC only eats Pringles Original Potato Chips during harrowing happenstances and recommends (contingent on a multi-billion dollar sponsorship) that all young Argonauts eat Pringles Original Potato Chips).

This Isle was from another time; a time when demons walked the earth and molten rock belched forth from the maw of Pele.

Night brought on a deep, dreamless, peaceful sleep. At length, the glorious sun was reborn to the howl of a storm-blast.

The sea heaved, impending tempests charged the sky and the gentle craft sought safer haven.

Through the Swede's Gap passed the ship. Southward, ever southward. Soon the mariner espied a coast strewn with pulp log and boulder; a mix of black and white, forbidding and tantalizing all at once. Forward the ship glided to the shore until the very rock split asunder to allow safe anchorage.

But, of a sudden, the keel suffered damage.....possibly a portent of more sinister torments to come. As if an affirmation of the thought, a shroud of fog suddenly perched upon the water and rolled malevolently towards the mastless craft.

Setting camp above high-water, the mariner harked back to the trials of yesterday and the doubts that he had suffered. That anything evil could ever befall the man now was absurd. "Vex me no longer ye demons of the nether world!"

The next two days were spent in blissful exploration of the coast; of agate, metal and pleasing stone the land abounded.

These happy moments flew like a bird upon the wind. All too soon, the glorious sun arose, a fair breeze blew and the white foam danced the good ship home.

The faint old man bows his silvered head. A dream realized and a fear overcome. The deed is everything, the glory naught.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Days #46 to #48

2007-08-02T09:14:00.000-04:00

Monday to Wednesday: Anti-social Houseboatbob!

The weather was too hot to do much other than hide inside and play warcraft. It wasn't all fun and games though. Still working on trying to get rid of the boat, had to pay bills and as well had to attend a school meeting on Wednesday. The summer is disappearing before my eyes.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Days #44 & #45

2007-08-02T09:04:00.000-04:00

The weekend! Off to a parents cottage to participate in a surprise birthday party for their daughter who is a student of mine. The party theme was tropical and the weather was a perfect match. The kids had a lot of fun playing on the beach and I had a lot of fun drinking scotch.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #43

2007-07-28T09:47:00.000-04:00

Friday! The end of the week - although being a teacher on vacation there are no weeks - just days until you begin the arduous journey once more.

Friday was a quiet day yet again. A lot of warcraft - levels 51 and 46 for my characters! Not that any of you care!

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #42

2007-07-28T09:02:00.000-04:00

Thursday started with a trip to see the houseboat to make arrangements to have it removed from the marina. As per usual, the owner wasn't around and the houseboat remains in limbo.

Next - dinner in the big city of Toronto with a graduate of mine. I had a great time catching up on what she had been up to over the past year. I also learned a lot of useful information such as how female students cheated on tests by writing the answers on their legs. Who is going to challenge a girl by asking her to lift her skirt to verify that she hasn't written the answers on her leg?

Given the length of their skirts while in school, I figured they couldn't have cheated very much. I guess you are never too old to learn.

80 Days of Summer for Bob - Day #41

2007-07-28T08:58:00.000-04:00

Wednesday and another uneventful day. Started with a school meeting and continued with more school work once I got home. I feel as if I am losing control of my summer.